Yesterday’s Schedule O’ Fun!


1. Notice that Amazon shows PRESSURE “In Stock.” Gasp a couple of times.

2. Drive to the closest bookstore to see if it’s there. Via cell phone, discuss with my wife the fact that our air conditioner at home won’t be fixed until Saturday. (Our house kind of sucks right now.)

3. Park at the bookstore and get out of the car, while distracted by thoughts of new book and cell phone conversation.

4. Use the S-word upon realization that I locked my keys in the car.

5. Upgrade to the F-word upon realization that the engine is still running.

6. Call AAA. 

7. With the keys still in the ignition and the engine running, decide that it’s a poor idea to run inside the bookstore. Stand in the parking lot. 

8. Watch the sky darken as a storm approaches.

9. Take a cell phone picture of the darkening sky, because it kind of sounds like something I made up for my blog.

10. Half an hour later, Door Unlocking Guy arrives. Uses what looks like about six bucks worth of equipment to unlock the door in about thirty seconds. Guy is genuinely friendly and never says “You locked your keys in the car with the engine running? What kind of dumb-ass are you?”

11. Within ten seconds of my car door being opened, it starts to POUR. 

12. But I still want to go into the bookstore, so I get drenched.

13. No PRESSURE. They’ll have copies earlier, but it won’t be on the shelves until the scheduled May 26th date.

14. Go home.

15. Brother-in-law offers advice on how to fix air conditioner. This requires going outside and digging through mud and wet leaves to find a pipe. Realize the irony that I’m outside, soaked and shivering, in an effort to cool down the house.

16. It works!

17. Fake-out. It only seems like it’s working. 

18. But LOST season finale is awesome.

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