Treadmill Flicks, Episode 1

I’ve been using my treadmill, but for short periods of time at high speeds, which is not conducive to movie-watching. So it took me MONTHS to finally watch the last couple of minutes of The Human Centipede Part 2. I could have watched the end without being on the treadmill, but the movie is a piece of crap that does wrong everything the original did right, and I had no investment in the outcome. 

(Yes, I loved The Human Centipede. It was inventive, genuinely suspenseful, and gave you reason to care if they were going to get out of this insane predicament. Whereas the sequel is “Ooooohhhh, look how gross and nasty and vile we can be!!!”)

Yesterday and today I watched High Lane, a French thriller. Five friends go on a mountain climbing trip…and get more than they bargained for! There’s nothing remotely original here, but it’s very well-done, and I’m sad to say that these days my standards for horror/suspense filmmaking have dropped to “Oh my God! The camera remained still for more than two seconds! This is awesome!”

Four stars out of five on Netflix. Next up: either Oldboy or Kill List. 

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