Stalled is a British horror/comedy flick in which our hero, a maintenance guy, is trapped in a restroom stall in the office building where he works during a zombie outbreak. Almost the entire movie takes place in the restroom, and the film does a pretty great job of keeping things lively in a single location. It’s funny (though you probably shouldn’t expect highbrow humor in a movie about a guy trapped in a toilet stall), inventive, and even kind of touching at parts.

Buried, in which Ryan Reynolds is buried alive, is probably my favorite example of a single-location film. No flashbacks, no cut-aways…literally the entire movie is him in the coffin.

I also really liked Frozen, though it takes too long before our heroes are finally trapped on the ski lift.

What are some other examples of the best single-location movies?

Survivor: Blood Vs. Water Totally Rocked And I Don’t Care If There’s No Love In Your Heart For It

Y’know, if I wanted to, I could make this entire blog nothing but Survivor-themed posts. I won’t, but I COULD. Easily. You’d be all like, “Holy crap! How many more posts is this frickin’ guy going to devote to Survivor?!?” and the answer would be ALL OF THEM. Because I love Survivor. You doofi (plural of doofus) who say “Is that show still on the air? Har har har” are missing out.

All I’m gonna say is that with Survivor: Blood vs. Water, the 27th (!!!) season that just finished up on Sunday, the show had its second best season ever. Twenty-seven (again: !!!) seasons in and it’s more unpredictable than ever! Madness!

The Greatest Gift Imaginable

Two things I really like:

1. Pugs.

2. Haribo gummi bears. (Yes, I am brand-specific.)

So to receive a birthday gift of GUMMI PUGS is almost more than my fragile mind can process.

Gummis. In the shape of pugs. From Haribo. They exist. I have them.



Well, today is my birthday. But don’t get me a gift. No, really…I know you think you should, but I already have everything I need. Except a pony. I can’t let you buy me a pony, though, because you’d probably get the wrong color, and then I’d have to paint the pony, and you don’t want a painted pony on your conscience.

Instead, why don’t you buy YOURSELF a present on my birthday? I know, I know, it’s insane, but I insist that you click on THIS LINK and then go on a crazed shopping spree. Fill that online shopping cart. You deserve it.

BBQ Signage Revisited

A few days ago I asked people to share photos of truly demented signs for BBQ restaurants. I got a link from the website Marie Let’s Eat to their article “That Pig’s Not Going To Cook Himself…Or Is He?”

This must-read article shows how numerous barbecue places use the exact same pig as their mascot. This particular pig is not just doing the standard “Mmmmm…gonna eat my own kind! Nom nom nom!” thing. No, this pig is sitting by the fire and cooking himself! But, oh, it’s even worse than that: he’s cooking his crotch!

If I were a pig, I would a) not cook myself, but if I did, I would b) at least not start at the crotch! At least it’s a pained smile. Click on the link above, check out the pictures, and tell me that this pig isn’t thinking, “Go to your happy place…go to your happy place…”

Marie Let’s Eat covers lots of restaurants, BBQ and otherwise, in the southeastern USA. They cover some Florida places but they don’t quite make it far south enough to be near my area; however, the next time I head up to Georgia I will definitely be using this site as reference material.


Sister Sinister Speaks!

As I’ve previously mentioned, early next year I’m going to be doing a blog tour to promote my new young adult comedy novel, I Have A Bad Feeling About This. Sinister Sister Speaks answered my call for host blogs…but she didn’t just say “Sure, you can write something, I guess, as long as it’s not, y’know, too stupid.”

No, the mighty Sister Sinister is going way above and beyond, with her new Countdown to Jeff series, in which she reviews two of my books each month leading up to my guest post in March. This is truly awesome of her.

Of course, now my stomach hurts and my vision is kind of blurry from the stress of having to come up with a guest blog that is worthy of all of that buildup. Why would she put me under that much pressure? Does she get some kind of sadistic thrill from it? Is she even human, or is she pure monster? I mean, I was just going to write “Five Books To Read While Eating Gumdrops” or something! I can’t deliver on the promise of a Countdown to Jeff! What am I going to do? Oh, God, what am I going to do???

While I figure that out, head on over to Sinister Sister Speaks for her review of Wolf Hunt, along with gobs of other reviews.

If you’d like me to write something for your site next year, e-mail me at

HWA Lifetime Achievement Award Committee

I’m pleased to announce that I’m part of the official Horror Writers Association 2013 Lifetime Achievement Award committee. John R. Little, Greg Herren, Jo Fletcher, committee chair Kathryn Ptacek, and I will be viciously fighting over the next recipient(s) of this award. Blood will be drawn. Friendships will be shattered.

The prior recipients are:

2012 – Clive Barker, Robert McCammon
2011 – Rick Hautala, Joe R. Lansdale
2010 – Ellen Datlow, Al Feldstein
2009 – Brian Lumley, William F. Nolan
2008 – F. Paul Wilson, Chelsea Quinn Yarbro
2007 – John Carpenter, Robert Weinberg
2006 – Thomas Harris
2005 – Peter Straub
2004 – Michael Moorcock
2003 – Anne Rice, Martin H. Greenberg
2002 – Stephen King, J.N. Williamson
2001 – John Farris
2000 – Nigel Kneale
1999 – Edward Gorey, Charles L. Grant
1998 – Ramsey Campbell, Roger Corman
1997 – William Peter Blatty, Jack Williamson
1996 – Ira Levin, Forrest J. Ackerman
1995 – Harlan Ellison
1994 – Christopher Lee
1993 – Joyce Carol Oates
1992 – Ray Russell
1991 – Gahan Wilson
1990 – Hugh B. Cave, Richard Matheson
1989 – Robert Bloch
1988 – Ray Bradbury, Ronald Chetwynd-Hayes
1987 – Fritz Leiber, Frank Belknap Long, Clifford D. Simak

Who will the next one be? Perhaps…….YOU?

A-ing Your Q’s

Got any questions you want me to answer? Serious questions, silly questions, writing-related or not…either post them in the comments section or e-mail them to and I’ll answer them in a future blog! And I’ll include a link to your website, which can get you literally two or three hits.

Social Media Stuff

In case you were wondering where else to find me on social media…

Facebook (Regular Page)I post something goofy there pretty much every day.

Twitter. This is usually a cross-post of whatever I posted on Facebook, unless it can’t be cut down to 140 characters.

Facebook (Fan Page)No cross-posting between this and my other Facebook page. Though this one has been abandoned for long stretches of time, lately I’ve been doing posts on a regular basis. The two pages don’t really have separate identities at the moment, but I think the Fan Page will be more writing-specific posts, and the Regular Page will be more general silliness. Follow ’em both for the full experience.

Goodreads. If you want to know what I’m reading.

Linkedin. On it. Hardly ever check it. It’s always weird to see that people have endorsed me for skills I don’t have.

Am I missing out on any really awesome ones?

BBQ Signage

When my wife and I were in North Carolina a couple of weeks ago, Rich Dansky and Melinda Thielbar took us to their favorite BBQ place. It was indeed truly delicious. Nom nom nom.

I’m mentioning it here because I took a picture of the sign. Ignore the hilarious wood-related material and look at that pig. It’s traditional for barbecue signs to feature pigs taking delight in the fact that they’re going to be devoured, but this particular pig is different. His expression says “I take pleasure in the torture and consumption of my own kind. You’re gonna squeal.” That is one sadistic frickin’ pig.


Meanwhile, over on Facebook, Wendy Latham shared this photo, which is about as demented of a pork promotion sign as I’ve ever seen. There’s even blood on the bandage!


If you’ve seen any (real!) BBQ signs that are equally or more deranged, please feel free to post links to photos in the comments section.

<span>%d</span> bloggers like this: