Continuing my series where I post guest blogs I did in 2012 to promote A Bad Day For Voodoo. In the days before everybody made fun of Miley Cyrus, they used to make fun of Snooki. This one also has a cutting edge reference to the Mayans.
Q: Are there any mean jokes about Snooki in A Bad Day For Voodoo?
Q: Why not? What’s the point of writing an entire book if you’re not going to include any mean jokes about Snooki?
A: Uh, I don’t know. I just didn’t think to include any.
Q: Are you saying that you LIKE Snooki?
A: No. I mean, I don’t actually know Snooki.
Q: What do you mean you don’t know Snooki? Everybody knows Snooki. Are you one of those snotty people who takes pride in their cultural illiteracy? “Look at me! Look at me! I’m proud to say that I don’t know who Snooki is!” Nobody is impressed that you don’t know who Snooki is. It doesn’t make you smart or anything.
A: No, no, I know who Snooki is. But I don’t know much about her. I’ve seen pictures, but I’ve never seen her in motion.
Q: Did you know that her baby’s due date is the exact same day that the earth is coming to an end? Well played, Mayans. Well played.
A: Why do people keep posting that on Facebook? Simple math skills and a basic understanding of the human reproductive cycle are all it takes to prove that they’re a couple of months off.
Q: So you DO know everything about Snooki!
A: When people started posting that joke, December was still more than nine months away.
Q: Why don’t you just marry Snooki and raise the baby in your own little “Oh, I’m so smart that I can use a calendar” world.
A: Well, like I said, I really don’t know much about her. Does she like authors?
Q: She’s an author herself. She made way more money from her book than you did.
A: [Expletive deleted.]
Q: You should go back and add some mean jokes about Snooki to your book. That’s what people want to read.
A: I think it’s too late now. I don’t think the publisher wants to recall all of the copies so we can add some anti-Snooki jokes.
Q: So what you’re saying is that you’re totally in love with Snooki and want to raise her baby and write books with her. Real nice. Great lesson you’re teaching today’s youth.
A: What if I made fun of her in a blog post promoting A Bad Day For Voodoo? Would that count?
Q: Too little, too late, dude.
A: [Expletive deleted.]