So I finally tried a McRib.
I’m no fast food snob. I was as giddy for the Doritos Locos taco as anybody, and I still enjoy them, even if we can all agree that they’re just a taco with cheese powder on the shell, not an actual Dorito. But I have limits. I’ve never tried a KFC Famous Bowl, or that sandwich that’s made out of two pieces of fried chicken with cheese between them. And I’d never tried a McRib.
With Chicken McNuggets (delicious Chicken McNuggets!) you can at least pretend that you’re eating choice cuts from a piece of chicken. You know perfectly well that you’re not, but if you dunk it in sauce and don’t inspect the inside after you bite into it, the possibility exists to sort of delude yourself.
The McRib doesn’t offer this possibility because, as you know, the meat is in the shape of bones! That was always the deal-breaker for me: that this rib sandwich had the meat in the shape of a rack of ribs that included the bones. We know we’re not eating an actual rack of ribs, but is it necessary to be that artificial?
But this week, I went into McDonald’s with the intention of getting a Jalapeno Double Burger. At the last second, I thought, “I’m gonna try a McRib! It’ll make a good Facebook post!” (This is why I make most of my life decisions.)
Here’s what I thought would happen: The McRib would be wonderful, and I’d write about the conflict of Shame vs. Deliciousness. “I tried to eat it ironically,” I’d write, “but I just couldn’t do it! #McRibYou’veCapturedMyHeart.” (Of course, I wouldn’t really put a hashtag in a Facebook post. This is purely hypothetical.)
Instead, I discovered that the legendary McDonald’s McRib sandwich is, in fact, quite gross. I’m not judging you if you fantasize about the McRib when it’s not available, but…seriously, it’s gross, right?
Readers, what do YOU think of the McRib?