I had my annual eye exam today. In a bizarre change from standard operating procedure, my prescription didn’t get stronger, meaning that I HAVE CONQUERED THE AGING PROCESS!!!!!! I will use my newfound immortality to catch up on Orange Is The New Black, and also maybe to watch Daredevil and The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt.
Have you ever been expecting a bad customer service experience, and it’s almost a little disappointing when you have a good one? When I transferred my screenwriting software to my new computer, the serial number used to authorize the new machine didn’t work, and in fact it wanted a completely different number of digits. And I was all like, “Those bastards are going to tell me that my license is no longer valid for this update of the software, and I’m going to be FILLED WITH ANGER AND RAGE AND FURY!”
But, no, they just sent me a new serial number and everything is working fine. It was a complete waste of some perfectly good indignation. Bummer.
Gleefully Macabre 
April 27, 2015 at 6:45 pm
Well…Mr. Smarty-Pants, Show-Off Guy Man! I am so filled with ANGER, RAGE AND FURY now because I just had an eye exam last week and my vision was worse…meaning…I now need to buy a stronger set of lens AND I guess that means I now am in decline and will die a slow agonizing death as opposed to your “Conquering the Aging Process” and all because of your eye exam! I am soooooo jealous! How do you do it, Jeff?!? You know, I am really happy for you…I feel a Happy Dance coming on…woohoo…Oh and I’m not bi-polar or anything…8)
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April 27, 2015 at 6:51 pm
I should mention that about 13 of my last 15 eye exams have involved me getting a stronger prescription…
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April 27, 2015 at 7:17 pm
Well, son…no wonder you’re feeling invincible…;) I’m so very happy for you, very, very happy for you…very happy…
Actually, Jeff, I’m really glad you didn’t have to buy new prescription lens this year! Bully! The suckers are expensive! Hey…I just remembered that I didn’t have to buy any last year! Maybe this means my immortality has evened out…you know…none last year, buy them this year…does this mean I’m back where I started?…yep, probably! I do enjoy your posts, Jeff…they make my day much brighter…:) Thank you!
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April 27, 2015 at 6:52 pm
What that eye exam REALLY means Jeff is that your body is up to no good! Yep, your body is getting you all warm and fuzzy feeling thinking HEY! I’m Invincible Man! Watch me jump off this tall building! But, what’s actually happening is slowly…so slowly your muscles are shrinking and you’re getting shorter. And wasn’t that an ache where you didn’t even have a place yesterday? Next thing you know they’ll point out the senior’s section on the menu when you go to a restaurant. And you’ll look!
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April 27, 2015 at 6:56 pm
Noooooooooo!!! I’m immortal! I’m immortal!
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