July 16

So, what have I been up to recently? Well, I finally caught COVID!

My symptoms overall aren’t THAT bad. I did have a fever for a couple of days, but it’s gone now. It does mean [cue primal wail] that I had to cancel Necon this year. Necon was cancelled in 2020 and 2021, so this suuuuuuuuuuucks. This was also the year I’d taken over Necon Update, so those jokes will have to wait until 2023.

Meanwhile, Freaky Briefs is almost done. It’s really just missing the foreword.

Here’s a sneak peek at the table of contents. Stories in bold are new to the collection; everything else originally appeared in my newsletter. It’s not entirely out of the question that I might still drop and replace a story or two, but I’m pretty sure this is the final lineup:

  1. The Douchebag Who Reneged on the Death Pact
  2. Fresh Fish
  3. Clicking the Heart
  4. The Wrong Dentist
  5. The Skull Within
  6. CraniumVision
  7. Headspin
  8. Oh No! Don’t Eat Me! (A Chocolate Bunny Tale)
  9. Thrill Ride
  10. The First Cannibals
  11. What’s in the Box?
  12. Jock Magnum, Manatee Hunter
  13. Bernie
  14. Beaks
  15. The Guy Who Didn’t Want to Murder Anybody With a Hammer
  16. Bummer Tarot Reading
  17. Pull My Finger
  18. Crazy’s Ralph’s Used Car Emporium
  19. Home With a Future
  20. The Tell Tale Heart II: Aftermath
  21. A Story I’m Writing While Being Devoured by a Lion
  22. Make a Wish
  23. Long Sleeves
  24. Fast Zombies Vs. Slow Zombies
  25. Scrape and Scoop
  26. How’s My Driving?
  27. Granny’s Got an Ice Pick
  28. A Story for the Dude on the Plane Who Keeps Looking at My Laptop Screen
  29. And There Was a Metal Hook
  30. Box of Chocolates
  31. The Frostbite Movie
  32. Breakthrough
  33. Ten Little Babies
  34. Greasy Grimy Gopher Guts
  35. The Night I Realized Halfway To The Pavement Below That I Was Not, In Fact, Superman
  36. Helen Gets Permanently Traumatized
  37. A Real Haunting
  38. Vegan Training
  39. Guillotine
  40. Sherlock Holmes and the Murders at Camp Crystal Lake
  41. Chick
  42. Quicksand
  43. It’s Drabble Time!
  44. The Most Entertaining Man in the Elevator
  45. Wrongful Death Payday
  46. Jigsaw Puzzle
  47. The Satisfying Crunch of Bones Beneath My Feet
  48. Laundry Day
  49. All The Cheese In The World
  50. Not Enough Coins
  51. Corky & Snorky
  52. Below Deck
  53. The Cat Who Was Super Smart For A Cat But Pretty Dumb By Human Standards
  54. The Blind Men And The Elephant: A Parable
  55. Bradley Goes Crunch
  56. Dusted
  57. Intervention
  58. Telemedicine
  59. The Soupville Stabber Practices Social Distancing
  60. Bunny Ears
  61. The Tragic Tale of Slappy McWankerville
  62. Abner Wederman, Ribald Ostrich
  63. Last One In
  64. Too Meta 2 Live
  65. Steps
  66. Santa Claus Kills 2020
  67. Yak Attack
  68. Job Reference
  69. The Man Without Nails
  70. Comeback
  71. The Last Egg
  72. Six Cents a Word
  73. Encore
  74. Making the Most of It
  75. After
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