FAQ

What are you working on now?

Creep Out, a horror novel, and Not a Thing, not a horror novel.

Will you be on my podcast?

By golly, I sure will! E-mail me at JeffStrandAuthor AT gmail DOT com.

Do you have an agent?

I don’t have an agent for my book stuff. I do have a manager for film and television rights, so if you’re a deranged billionaire who wants to inquire about them, e-mail Michael Keyes at Against the Grain Entertainment. michael AT againstthegrain-ent DOT com.

Will you read my book and give me a blurb or write the foreword?

NO!!! Sorry, that was rude. What I mean is, I’m not doing any more blurbs or forewords for a while. I like to help my fellow authors, but I think I’ve done too many of them and I’m diluting their effectiveness (if they were effective to begin with). And I’m unreliable AF. And I have too many books on my shelves that I want to read. Don’t hate me.

Can I order signed books directly from you?

Yes! Click HERE.

Are you being a jerk about only writing short stories for professional rates now, like you think you’re some big-shot who’s forgotten his lowly origins?

Yes. For the vast majority of my career you could get a short story from me just by asking nicely. These days, it’s gotta be 5 cents a word. Writing is my only source of income so I need to stick to projects that pay pro rates. (This doesn’t apply to charity anthologies, of course.)

Are you high when you write your books? Because I’ll be honest, some of them seem like books somebody would write when they’re high.

My books are written exclusively on caffeine and sugar.

Is there going to be Wolf Hunt 4 and/or a sixth Andrew Mayhem novel?

There are no current plans to continue either series. Neither Wolf Hunt 3 nor Cemetery Closing (Everything Must Go) were written to absolutely be the final installment, but they were intended to be satisfying conclusions in case that’s the end.

Is there going to be a paperback edition of the Dead Clown Barbecue Expansion Pack?

No. All of those stories except “Gave Up The Ghost” are in the paperback edition of Everything Has Teeth.

Will there be a Wolf Hunt movie?

Mayyyyyybe………..

Will there be an A Bad Day For Voodoo movie?

Mayyyyyybe…………

I’ve never read any of your books. Where should I start?

It depends a lot of your personal taste, since I’ve got books ranging from absolutely ridiculous comedies to dark, bleak horror. Since I have to give an actual answer, I’ll say that the book most widely enjoyed is probably Blister, so start there.

Do you write full-time?

Now I do! So please buy my books. Please. Health insurance is expensive.

Do you outline your novels beforehand?

Only when I have to. (For example, I had to give my publisher an outline for Dweller and Wolf Hunt to get the contract.) How much I know about the story before I start writing varies wildly from book to book, but I usually  know the ending and a few markers along the way.

What’s the punchline to the joke that’s never completed in “The Carver?”

There isn’t one. You, and the Carver, must remain forever frustrated.

What was the process of collaborating with James A. Moore on The Haunted Forest Tour?

Mostly it involved me being annoyed that Jim writes approximately 8000 times faster than me. Jim wrote about 60% of the first draft (not in any particular order; there are parts where I did three chapters in a row, and parts where we shared a chapter), I did the revisions, and then we both proofread and nitpicked each other’s contributions. We brought out the wicked worst in each other–the book wouldn’t have been nearly as gory as a solo effort!

What was the process of collaborating with J.A. Konrath on Suckers?

Much like Jim Moore, J(oe) writes 8000 times faster than me. The divison of labor is a little more obvious in this one–I wrote the “Andrew Mayhem” chapters, and he wrote the “Harry McGlade” chapters. However, there was plenty of rewriting of each other’s work, so the jokes that you found particularly amusing in Joe’s sections are probably mine, and the plot holes you found in my sections are probably his fault.

What is your all-time favorite movie?

Shaun of the Dead.

Will you come talk to my school?

Yep, probably. I do not charge for classroom visits via Skype, or in-person visits that are a day trip from Chattanooga. If it’s costing me more than just some gas money, you’d need to cover expenses.

Do you really love gummi bears, or do you just keep mentioning them all the time because they have a funny name?

I really love gummi bears–but they have to be Haribo brand gummi bears. None of that off-brand nonsense. [UPDATE: My sister sent me some non-Haribo gummi bears from Germany and they were awesome.]

More FAQ coming soon…