Available in a Kindle edition.
Vampires.
Well, not vampires—Pires. Whack-jobs who think they’re vampires. They’ve inducted an innocent young girl into their cult, and her mother has hired legendary (not in a good way) private investigator Harry McGlade to get her back.
Infiltrating this bloodthirsty cult is too big of a job for just one man, especially when he has the intelligence of half a man. But when he joins forces with the also-less-than-100%-competent Andrew Mayhem, maybe, just maybe, their combined efforts will succeed in thwarting this savage menace. Or perhaps they’ll just embarrass themselves and get killed.
Masters of humor-tainted-horror (or horror-tainted-humor) J.A. Konrath and Jeff Strand team up for the first time in this hilariously gruesome adventure that does not contain a single lame “You suck!” or “That bites!” joke. Suckers. The ultimate Idiots vs. Phony Vampires extravaganza!
Book #6 in the Delirium Hardcover Chapbook series.
Gleefully Macabre 
December 2, 2010 at 10:17 pm
Oh, man, I’ve got to stop!
I just found a new #6 online (not going to mention where until I talk myself out of spending more money I don’t have!) for only $19 plus shipping!
Give me strength!
– Jim
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December 3, 2010 at 8:25 am
Here are some waves of strength <<<>>>
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December 9, 2010 at 4:17 pm
Just saw that Horror Mall put up ‘Suckers’ for sale, grabbed up a copy, then saw this post and figured I’d comment. Since ordering, it has disappeared from their website, and Bad Moon Books doesn’t have it listed on their website either, so I may have just bought a phantom copy of the book. We’ll see I suppose!
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December 10, 2010 at 1:02 pm
Just got my confirmation on the book from Horror Mall that it shipped, so maybe I grabbed the last copy. Lucky me!
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December 10, 2010 at 8:16 pm
Woo-hoo!!! (You know that it’s a tiny wee little thing, right?)
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December 10, 2010 at 8:30 pm
Yep, but it’s Andrew Mayhem, which means no matter the size, it’s an epic adventure!!
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December 11, 2010 at 9:00 am
You know it!
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December 10, 2010 at 10:14 pm
You know, it would be nice to hear from our old friend Andrew again some time. Any chance of that?
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December 11, 2010 at 9:02 am
I’ve been promising Book IV: LOST HOMICIDAL MANIAC (ANSWERS TO “SHIRLEY”) for the past few years. Could 2011 be the year…?
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December 11, 2010 at 10:34 am
Wow, first I’ve heard about that.
So, um, my birthday is the end of July. No pressure or anything — maybe just a few chapters?
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December 15, 2010 at 11:12 am
Maaaaaaaaaaaaaybe…
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December 11, 2010 at 11:45 pm
My birthday is in June, can we make it halfway between Jim’s and my birthdays?? 🙂
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December 15, 2010 at 11:11 am
Yeah, sure, why not? Anybody else have a birthday they want to add to the equation…?
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December 14, 2010 at 8:59 am
Hmmmm…
Speaking of birthdays — happy (significant round numbered), Jeff!
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December 15, 2010 at 11:09 am
Thank you, sir!
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December 20, 2010 at 11:38 pm
Finally got my copy today Jeff! It is tiny… but like I said before, doesn’t matter, it’s Mayhem!!
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January 21, 2011 at 6:46 pm
I was thumbing through the PDF copy of this I’ve had since, well, since you and Joe made it available, pretty much, and it dawned on me that I never even came close to finishing it!
Fresh Mayhem!!!
To celebrate, I grabbed the kindle version and that will be next (right after I finish up Draculas.) Yes the PDF is viewable on the kindle, but it just isn’t the same.
It looks like I’m going to have to re-buy my other Andrew books, since the eReader PDB versions I’ve had for years are not convertable. Ah, well, it’s worth it!
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January 22, 2011 at 2:21 pm
Clearly, the Konrath stuff impeded your ability to keep reading. Generally, if you hold your breath and clickclickclick through the McGlade stories as quickly as you can to get to the Mayhem stories, it’s possible to finish the book.
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January 22, 2011 at 8:26 pm
I’m not sure I could read a McGlade story anyway – I’d need Dick Hill sitting next to me randomly throwing out “Jackie.”
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April 12, 2011 at 7:39 am
Just saw a copy of this pop up on ebay, but it lists as paperback and with a different cover?
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April 13, 2011 at 6:14 pm
There’s a paperback edition that Joe put up on Createspace, which has a different cover.
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October 5, 2011 at 11:55 pm
I absolutely LOVE your work!! Just discovered you and J.A. Konrath a couple of days ago. (Sorry) In my defense I’m old…(46) and I have 5 kids and 2 grand kids. I read Anne Rice’s “Interview With the Vampire” when I was 10. (I KNOW…right?) And I was hooked. Thank you for sharing your talent Mr. Strand. I am eternally grateful and spreading the word….
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October 12, 2011 at 3:16 pm
Thanks! As long as you like my books better than JA Konrath’s, there’s no need to apologize.
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October 6, 2011 at 12:04 am
Oh! And while I’m at it… I bought “Suckers” on Amazon to down load onto kindle. I have read portions of stories about Andrew Mayhem and Konrath’s Harry McGlade to my husband and 23 yr. old and they are busting at the seams to read more! Thanks again!!!!
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October 12, 2011 at 3:17 pm
I’m always happy to help people bust at the seams!
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February 5, 2012 at 9:02 pm
“Suckers” is quite possibly the funniest thing I have ever read. I started with ” Mr.Corpse” on my Kindle. That was when I knew that I had to read every single thing that you have ever written. I am not even sure how much I have read, because I can’t recall all the short story titles. Cross referencing them would be a lot of work, and I would rather repeat a few, than actually put a little effort into it. I’m lazy like that. Really glad to have found your work !!!
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