ZOMBIE WARS!!! Round Five: MR CORPSE vs. THE COLD ONES

The Cold Ones is an awesome zombie novella by Elizabeth Donald. “Ha!” you’re probably shouting at your computer, drawing odd looks from the more dignified members of your household. “You’ve admitted that The Cold Ones is awesome! That means you’ve lost this time, jerk! The Sinister Mr. Corpse is goin’ down!!!”

Wrong! Because do you know what just came out? Blackfire. Do you know what Blackfire is? The Cold Ones II. Let me slap a few figures on you:

# of sequels to The Sinister Mr. Corpse: 0

# of sequels to The Cold Ones: 1

And so I ask, which book got it right the first time? What possible reason could there be to write a sequel to a book unless you re-read it after publication and said “Oh, crap! I left stuff out! Crap! Crap! Crap! Better write a sequel before anybody notices!” When you finish reading The Sinister Mr. Corpse, you don’t need a frickin’ sequel; you need a cigarette. You are sated, baby. You’ve had all the awesomeness you can handle.

Oh, The Cold Ones is jam-packed full of wild zombie action, and I did give it a blurb (“One page in and we’ve got screaming, bleeding, arm-gnawing, gun-grabbing, and spilled coffee. Clearly this is not a leisurely paced tale.”), and you can get a bundle deal of The Cold Ones + Blackfire that even includes an emergency zombie bite kit, but ultimately I am forced to conclude that The Sinister Mr. Corpse is longer, and therefore better.

OFFICIAL RULING: The Sinister Mr. Corpse for the win.

Remember, if you’ve written a zombie book that’s not as good as The Sinister Mr. Corpse, be sure to take the ZOMBIE WARS!!! challenge by e-mailing a link to your book to gleefullymacabre@gmail.com.

%d bloggers like this: