Ultimate Supernatural Horror Box Set!

What if I said you could get the Kindle edition of Wolf Hunt for only 99 cents?

“Whoa!” you’d say. “What an amazing deal! Just give me a link to click and I’m there!”

But wait! What if, for that very same 99 cents, you could also get Virgin by F. Paul Wilson?

“Are you kidding me?” you’d say. “Both of those fine novels for less than a buck? That’s crazy!”

And what if we added Haunted House by Jack Kilborn & JA Konrath to the deal?

“Whaaaaaat?!?” you’d scream. “Now you’re just messing with me! That’s only 33 cents a book! Holy freaking cow!”

And, just for argument’s sake, let’s say we also included Eerie by Blake & Jordan Crouch.

“You’re a lying piece of crap,” you’d snarl. “That’s, like, a quarter a book. How gullible do you think I am?”

And, hypothetically, what if you also got Speed Dating With The Dead by Scott Nicholson?

“F*** you!” you’d shout, spittle flying from your lips. “A deal that amazing doesn’t exist. I’m going to report you for fraud, you dishonest f***ing jerk. Let’s see how many Kindle box sets you compile from prison!”

And what if there was a sixth novel, The Final Winter, by Iain Rob Wright?

“I’ll kill you for your relentless onslaught of lies!” you’d bellow as your friends held you back. “Mortimer, fetch my shotgun! Let’s show this son of a bitch what happens to scam artists around here!”

Well…it’s all true. You can get the six-novel Ultimate Supernatural Horror Box Set for a mere 99 cents! If I said “Hey, can I touch your ear for 99 cents?” you’d say no, and yet that’s all it costs to get SIX books! That’s only 16.5 cents per book!

This is for a limited time only, so CLICK THIS PARTICULAR LINK immediately.

Ultimate Supernatural Horror Box Set

Grandma?

From an early age, I promised myself that if Joe Konrath ever wrote the first part of a YA serial zombie novel with his son and asked me to write the afterword, I would say, “No way, dude. Bite me.”

Finally, that day arrived. And I stared Joe right in the e-mail and said, “Sure!” Because I remembered that he’s my meal ticket. 

So, Joe and 15-year-old Talon Konrath present Grandma?, the action-packed, funny first part of a serial novel. Afterword by me. 99 cents. 

Get it right here: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00F1QE26Q

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The True Secret of JA Konrath’s Success

SCHAUMBURG, IL.

A sobbing JA Konrath was pulled from his Schaumburg mansion today after the discovery by authorities that his wildly successful e-book venture was, in fact, a money laundering front for a wildly successful cocaine smuggling venture.

“When I first started to hear about his success on the Kindle, I thought, good for him,” said senior DEA agent Bob Floss, speaking under condition of anonymity. “The guy works hard and deserves a little success. But after the six hundred and fifty-seventh time he blogged about how much money he was making…well, I couldn’t help but get suspicious. Why does he keep talking about it? What’s his angle?”

After a subpoena of his Amazon sales records, it was revealed that Konrath’s electronically published works had sold a combined total of forty-one copies, including those the author purchased himself to briefly check the formatting.

“It’s a great scheme. Nobody buys e-books, of course, but if you make the Internal Revenue Service THINK they do, then you’ve got yourself a front for those hundreds of thousands of dollars coming in the door. Let me tell you, this guy knew how to move narcotics. And when he said ‘increase your virtual shelf space,’ what he really meant was ‘diversify.’ Heroin, meth…oh, yeah, he had his fingers in a lot of pies.”

“We should have seen it sooner,” the DEA agent admitted. “The way he kept flaunting his aliases, the guy was practically begging to be caught. Also, there was that one drunken blog post about how much money he was making smuggling cocaine,  which he hurriedly deleted the following morning.”

JA Konrath is scheduled to be hanged at midnight. Schaumburg city officials have yet to determine whether tickets to the execution should be 99 cents or $2.99.

ZOMBIE WARS!!! Round Two: Mr. Corpse vs. Night of the Living Trekkies

Night of the Living Trekkies, by Kevin David Anderson and Sam Stall, seems to have an immediate advantage over The Sinister Mr. Corpse because it has two authors instead of one, and is therefore twice as good. After all, Draculas had four authors and was at least four times as good as a solo JA Konrath novel.

But while I have to admit that Night of the Living Trekkies is an extremely entertaining and funny book that works surprisingly well as a legitimate action-packed zombie novel, a quick Wikipedia search shows that Star Trek was cancelled in 1969. 1969. Most people weren’t even born in 1969! Way to spoof a timely target, Anderson & Stall!

The novel requires a ridiculous amount of suspension of disbelief, where the reader is asked to buy into the concept that people have set up an entire convention around that Star Trek show. Seriously? A whole convention? I’m sorry, but you’ve lost me right there. If the book was about a couple of people who accidentally wandered into the hotel, thinking that maybe it was Antiques Roadshow, I could accept the premise, but Anderson & Stall want you to believe that lots of people are there on purpose, some of them dressed in a manner relating to the television program. Like I said, the show was cancelled in 1969. They probably don’t even make clothes like that anymore.

Even wackier is the fact that characters in the book keep talking about Star Trek. In 1969, Gig Young won the Academy Award for Best Actor In A Supporting Role. I don’t think anybody has ever said a single word about Gig Young to me in my entire life, but in this book it’s pretty much non-stop “Star Trek! Zombies! Star Trek! Zombies! Star Trek! Zombies!”

I really enjoyed Night of the Living Trekkies and recommend it to those looking for a fun read, but its hard-to-swallow premise about Star Trek fans keeps it far out of the wingspan of excellence reached by my own contribution to the zombie genre.

OFFICIAL RULING: The Sinister Mr. Corpse for the win.

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