ZOMBIE WARS!!! Round Four: MR. CORPSE vs. LONG HORN, BIG SHAGGY

As I continue to demonstrate that The Sinister Mr. Corpse is the finest zombie book ever written, I arrive at my next opponent, Steve Vernon’s Long Horn, Big Shaggy. This book, a weeeeeeiiiiiiirrrrrrrd western novella, features zombie buffalo, but don’t let–

No, no! Don’t click the link! I know, I know, you’re all like “Zombie buffalo??? I’m SO there!” But that defeats the purpose of these challenges, so just take a deep breath and resist. Anyway, I read this book in good old fashioned print a few years ago, back in the age when people would say “It’s an e-book??? Ack!!! Take it away! Take it away! You’re ruining the world!” Even without the zombie buffalo, it’s one of the most entertaining–

You clicked the link, didn’t you? Just couldn’t resist the allure of zombie frickin’ buffalo, could you? Well, STOP it. The zombie buffalo will still be there.

The book takes place in the Old West, though since Steve Vernon is Canadian I’m not sure what he would know about that. The quantity of messed-up stuff that happens in this book is beyond belief. If you took a regular-sized novel, and you punched yourself in the head every time you read something that made you go “Wow! That event was certainly peculiar!”, you wouldn’t have anywhere near as many welts as you would if you did that while reading Long Horn, Big Shaggy.

For a long time you couldn’t get it, though I would’ve happily photocopied my copy if you’d asked nicely. Now, it’s a nice affordable e-book. Within a MINUTE you could be reading it and punching yourself in the head. I strongly recommend both parts of that.

But can it defeat The Sinister Mr. Corpse at Zombie Wars? Hell no. Because humans are better than buffalo at everything except being flavorful in burgers.

OFFICIAL RULING: The Sinister Mr. Corpse for the win.

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