What are you working on now?

Nightmare in the Backyard, a spoooooooky book for kids!

Will you be on my podcast?

By golly, I sure will! E-mail me at JeffStrandAuthor AT gmail DOT com.

Do you have an agent?

I don’t have an agent for my book stuff. I do have a manager for film and television rights, so if you’re a deranged billionaire who wants to inquire about them, e-mail Michael Keyes at Against the Grain Entertainment. michael AT againstthegrain-ent DOT com.

Will you read my book and give me a blurb or write the foreword?

NO!!! Sorry, that was rude. What I mean is, I’m not doing any more blurbs or forewords for a while. I like to help my fellow authors, but I think I’ve done too many of them and I’m diluting their effectiveness (if they were effective to begin with). And I’m unreliable AF. And I have too many books on my shelves that I want to read. Don’t hate me.

Can I order signed books directly from you?

I’m so bad at mailing stuff that it’s not worth the stress of having people get mad about how long it took.

Are you being a jerk about only writing short stories for professional rates now, like you think you’re some big-shot who’s forgotten his lowly origins?

Yes. For the vast majority of my career you could get a short story from me just by asking nicely. These days, it’s gotta be 5 cents a word. Writing is my only source of income so I need to stick to projects that pay pro rates. (This doesn’t apply to charity anthologies, of course.)

Are you high when you write your books? Because I’ll be honest, some of them seem like books somebody would write when they’re high.

My books are written exclusively on caffeine and sugar.

Is there going to be Wolf Hunt 4 and/or a sixth Andrew Mayhem novel?

There are no current plans to continue either series. Neither Wolf Hunt 3 nor Cemetery Closing (Everything Must Go) were written to absolutely be the final installment, but they were intended to be satisfying conclusions in case that’s the end.

Is there going to be a paperback edition of the Dead Clown Barbecue Expansion Pack?

No. All of those stories except “Gave Up The Ghost” are in the paperback edition of Everything Has Teeth.

Will there be a Wolf Hunt movie?


Will there be an A Bad Day For Voodoo movie?


I’ve never read any of your books. Where should I start?

It depends a lot of your personal taste, since I’ve got books ranging from absolutely ridiculous comedies to dark, bleak horror. Since I have to give an actual answer, I’ll say that the book most widely enjoyed is probably Blister, so start there.

Do you write full-time?

Now I do! So please buy my books. Please. Health insurance is expensive.

Do you outline your novels beforehand?

Only when I have to. (For example, I had to give my publisher an outline for Dweller and Wolf Hunt to get the contract.) How much I know about the story before I start writing varies wildly from book to book, but I usually  know the ending and a few markers along the way.

What’s the punchline to the joke that’s never completed in “The Carver?”

There isn’t one. You, and the Carver, must remain forever frustrated.

What was the process of collaborating with James A. Moore on The Haunted Forest Tour?

Mostly it involved me being annoyed that Jim writes approximately 8000 times faster than me. Jim wrote about 60% of the first draft (not in any particular order; there are parts where I did three chapters in a row, and parts where we shared a chapter), I did the revisions, and then we both proofread and nitpicked each other’s contributions. We brought out the wicked worst in each other–the book wouldn’t have been nearly as gory as a solo effort!

What was the process of collaborating with J.A. Konrath on Suckers?

Much like Jim Moore, J(oe) writes 8000 times faster than me. The divison of labor is a little more obvious in this one–I wrote the “Andrew Mayhem” chapters, and he wrote the “Harry McGlade” chapters. However, there was plenty of rewriting of each other’s work, so the jokes that you found particularly amusing in Joe’s sections are probably mine, and the plot holes you found in my sections are probably his fault.

What is your all-time favorite movie?

Shaun of the Dead.

Will you come talk to my school?

Yep, probably. I do not charge for classroom visits via Skype, or in-person visits that are a day trip from Chattanooga. If it’s costing me more than just some gas money, you’d need to cover expenses.

Do you really love gummi bears, or do you just keep mentioning them all the time because they have a funny name?

I really love gummi bears–but they have to be Haribo brand gummi bears. None of that off-brand nonsense. [UPDATE: My sister sent me some non-Haribo gummi bears from Germany and they were awesome.]

More FAQ coming soon…

17 Responses to “FAQ”

  1. Angie Says:

    Swan Song is an awesome book. I try to read it once a year 🙂
    And Shaun of the Dead rocks!!!



  2. Cathy Says:

    I was thrilled to read another Andrew Mayhem book is coming, favorite books of ALL time! Have to tell you, loved Suckers. I hope you and Konrath collaborate in the future in a full size book, it was awesome!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks for all your great stories,


  3. Nikki Says:

    What’s up with nobody posting here since 12-4-08?
    Jeez… that’s almost a year and a half. Well… this fixes that little problem doesn’t it. Your job Jeff, is to get the next Mayhem novel out to us ASAP… OK? OK! I really am a big fan of yours. I’ve been up since 3am and after too much coffee, probably need to get the hell off yourwebsite for awhile. Have a great day… keep up the great work.


    • jeffstrand Says:

      The lack of people posting might be directly related to the author being a total slacker in responding to website comments. But I’ll do better! I promise!


  4. Horrordude Says:

    Jeff, would you care to detail any ‘actual’ research you did for the story Werewolf Porno?


  5. Carl Says:

    BOYS LIFE is indeed an amazing book. Hairbo Gummi Bears are without a doubt the greatest candy in the world. Heck man, not only can you write really snazzy like, but you also have fine taste in life.


    • jeffstrand Says:

      Absolutely. Honestly, if you eat Haribo gummi bears while reading BOY’S LIFE, you will enter a state of bliss that will cause you to float right out of your recliner for a full sixty seconds.


  6. RedSoxFreak67 Says:

    Wanted to let you know that I just finished The Haunted Forest Tour and loved it! And because of this FAQ I started reading Boy’s Life and am really enjoying it.
    One of my favorite authors is the late Richard Laymon. Have you read his stuff, and if so, were you at all inspired by his writing? He had a fantastic sense of humor and mixed it in well with the rest of his twisted stories…love it!


    • jeffstrand Says:

      RedSoxFreak…there are only a couple of authors that I would consider a direct influence, and Laymon is one of ’em. I haven’t read everything that was published after his death, but until then I’d read all of them. (With IN THE DARK, SAVAGE, and BITE being my favorites.) Glad you enjoyed THE HAUNTED FOREST TOUR!


  7. susan crockett Says:

    My daughter also loves gummy bears so much she got a tattoo of one on her leg but because shes as twisted as me hers is hanging from a noose. You should of been at the tattoo shop for that conversation,how can we depict a dead gummy bear???thumbtack?knife?gun? I LOVE your writing keep up the great work!!!!


  8. Joe Says:

    I found about you by looking for The Strand bookstore merch on eBay. I really really really want to read your stuff but it seems most of it is for e-readers. Where can I buy hard copies of your books?


  9. jennifer eaton Says:

    Jeff, I think I am your biggest fan! I love all your books. I want to thank you for being so creative and entertaining. I love when you and Konrath write together also. I have almost all of you fine authors books and my question is : when is your next book coming out and what will it be about? I’m hoping for more horror!


    • jeffstrand Says:

      Thanks, Jennifer! Up next is A BAD DAY FOR VOODOO (unless you count the hardcover limited edition, which is already out), a young adult novel about the bad things that can happen when you make a voodoo doll of your history teacher. That’ll be out this June!


  10. Ilkar Says:

    I liked the voodoo story, though i usually don’t check out voodoo stuff. made me cheer up, in a morbid sort of way. How did u find an agent? I really want to get published in fantasy any advice? I write short stories.


  11. Shannon Watz Says:

    Love comedy and love horror!! Comedy cuz every one needs to laugh and our sense if humor seems the same and horror cuz we all have a dark side, don’t we!! Can’t wait to read all of your books!! Just signed up for your newsletter too!!


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