BLOOD LITE II: BLOOD LITER

Now available wherever you buy books, it’s Blood Lite II: Overbite, another anthology of humorous horror stories. This one contains my story “Eight-Legged Vengeance,” a cautionary tale about the dangers of trying to bake a live tarantula into a cake. The book is filled with whack-job authors galore , so run out to your local bookstore or order a copy from your website of choice.

Table of contents…

Death and Taxes—Heather Graham

Table for Two—Jeff Ryan

Treatment—J.A. Konrath

Dead Clown Séance—Christopher Welch

The Day the Devil Swallowed a Heapin’ Helpin’ of Pride at the Beaulahville Gospel Jubilee—Scott Nicholson

Piecemaker—Don d’Ammassa

Good Breeding—Lucien Soulban

Tails—John R. Little

Dog Tired (of the Drama!)—L.A. Banks

A Sweet Girl for Todd—Mark Onspaugh

Dark Carbuncle—Kevin J. Anderson & Janis Ian

Tastes Like Chicken—Jordan Summers

Presumptuous Beast Throws Sumptuous Feast—Mike Baron

Bad German—Edward Bryant

The Halloween War—Brian J. Hatcher

Oh, the Ho-Ho Horror—Joel A. Sutherland

The Unfortunate Persistence of Harold Francis Beamish—Aaron Polson

Dick and Larry—D.L. Snell

Son of…a Bitch!—Sam W. Anderson

Her Lucky Day—Allison Brennan

A Wing and a Prayer—Sharyn McCrumb

Barewolf—Daniel Pyle

American Banshee—Eric James Stone

The Epicurean—Amy Sterling Casil

The Ghoul Next Door—Nancy Kilpatrick

Daycare of the Damned—Nina Kiriki Hoffman

Season’s Tickets—Derek Clendening

The Close Shave—Mike Resnick & Lezli Robyn

Shaggy Dog Story—Steve Rasnic Tem

Eight-Legged Vengeance—Jeff Strand

Lucifer’s Daughter—Kelley Armstrong

Graverobbers Wanted

Check out this review of Graverobbers Wanted (No Experience Necessary)…actually, make that Grabrauber gesucht (Keine besonderen Kenntnisse erforderlich). I’m pretty sure he liked it, but he could be saying “This book is total crap!” in an upbeat manner. Any German-speaking readers willing to summarize?

DRACULAS!!!

Available in Kindle and paperback editions.

Audiobook read by Eric Dawe. 

Draculas is a collaborative novel written by me, F. Paul Wilson, Blake Crouch, and Jack Kilborn. (Yep, a novel, not a collection of stories.)

Think: a hospital overrun by vampires. Mean ones. Scary ones. Vampires that are so non-sparkly that when they transform, their freakin’ teeth burst right through their freakin’ cheeks and lips! It’s like the lower half of their faces just get absolutely shredded in the process! Is that gross and awesome or what? (Obviously, they only change once.)

If you like your vampires to be dreamy, this is not the novel for you. Spend your $2.99 elsewhere.

If you prefer restrained horror, where a sense of unease and foreboding is achieved through an eerie breeze in the Autumn leaves, start composing your one-star Amazon review now.

But if you want blood, blood, blooooood, and action, action, aaaaaction, and more than one scene involving intestines, Draculas is the book for you.

The Kindle edition will be out October 21st for $2.99. (Remember that you don’t need an actual Kindle, just the free Kindle app.) You can pre-order it HERE.

Or, if you want a generously portioned FREE sample, just click HERE, which will let you read more than enough of the novel to figure out if you’re going to love it or cluck your tongue in a disapproving fashion.

GLEEFULLY MACABRE TALES e-book for $2.99!

If you own a Kindle, or even the free Kindle app, you can now get Gleefully Macabre Tales for $2.99! Now that the book also includes my novella Disposal, that’s over 80,000 words of demented stories for less than three bucks!

Buy! Buy! Buy! Encourage the digital editions of my other books to take a similar plunge in price!

Click here to take advantage of the madness!

10 Questions With Me

…asked by James Roy Daley at Books of the Dead.

http://booksofthedead.blogspot.com/2010/09/ten-questions-with-jeff-strand.html

Whoa! What Could THIS Be???

Key:

Crouch = Blake Crouch

Kilborn = Jack Kilborn aka J.A. Konrath

Strand = me

Wilson = F. Paul Wilson!!!

More information comin’ soon…

Draculas Q and A

Q: So what is this Draculas thing?

A: I can’t really talk about it.

Q: C’mon, you can tell ME, right?

A: No, I can’t say much of anything quite yet.

Q: Oh, I get it. This makes you feel all special and powerful and stuff, huh? “Ooooooooh, look at me, I’ve got a secret and I’m not gonna tell! Oooooooh, I bet you’re all soooooooo curious!” Well, nobody cares about your teasers. A million people just read your post and went “Meh.”

A: A million people visited my website??? That’s awesome!!!

Q: No…sorry, I just threw out a number. Twelve people just read your post and went “Meh.”

A: Dammit.

Q: Draculas is about vampires, right?

A: Again, I’m not really authorized to say much…

Q: Dude, it’s called Draculas and the cover has f***ing fangs on it! It’s about vampires! Admit it!

A: Those aren’t fangs. They’re blood.

Q: They’re blood that is obviously intended to resemble fangs. Don’t treat me like a common dullard. It’s a vampire book, right?

A: I can’t confirm or deny anything like that. I’ll be beaten. They’re really mean to me, and I just–

Q: Okay, okay, chill. So what authors are involved?

A: You know F. Paul Wilson, creator of Repairman Jack? He’s in there. Also Blake Crouch, author of amazing thrillers like Desert Places.

Q: Wow!

A: I know!

Q: Anybody else?

A: Nope, it’s Blake, me, and F. Not a bad lineup.

Q: I heard that Jack Kilborn also co-wrote it.

A: Who?

Q: Jack Kilborn…pen name of J.A. Konrath…

A: [Silence.]

Q: …Joe Konrath…?

A: I don’t remember him being involved. Nice guy, though.

Q: Is the book an Amazon Kindle exclusive that will sell for a mere $2.99?

A: Where did you hear that?

Q: Joe Konrath’s website.

A: Seriously? You mean he did a blog post that wasn’t about e-books?

Q: Well, no, I mean, this was saying that Draculas was a $2.99 e-book, so technically it was a post about e-books.

A: Okay, good. We wouldn’t want the earth to spin off its axis.

Q: When will there be more (lots more) information available?

A: Soon.

Q: How soon?

A: Really freaking soon.

Q: Like…should I not leave my computer?

A: I wouldn’t.

Draculas. Coming soon. Keep hitting “refresh.”

Cinema Futura!

Cinema Futura, edited by Mark Morris and published by PS Publishing, is now available for pre-order! It’s a collection of essays about science fiction movies, including an essay by me about that ultra-violent satirical 80’s masterpiece RoboCop.

Get the book here: http://store.pspublishing.co.uk/acatalog/Cinema_Futura.html

The complete table of contents:

METROPOLIS (1927) – Stan Nicholls
FRAU IM MOND (1929) – Christopher Burns
THE MAN IN THE WHITE SUIT (1951) – Brian Stableford
WHEN WORLDS COLLIDE (1951) – Paul Meloy
INVADERS FROM MARS (1953) – Joe R Lansdale
THE INCREDIBLE SHRINKING MAN (1957) – James A Moore
QUATERMASS 2 (1957) – David Pirie
I MARRIED A MONSTER FROM OUTER SPACE (1958) – Steven Utley
THE 7TH VOYAGE OF SINBAD (1958) – John Connolly
THE WASP WOMAN (1959) – Paul Magrs
VILLAGE OF THE DAMNED (1960) – Bill Hussey
DAY OF THE TRIFFIDS (1962) – Christopher Golden
LA JETEE (1962) – Christopher Priest
ALPHAVILLE (1965) – Lucius Shepard
DR. WHO AND THE DALEKS (1965) – Simon Guerrier
2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY (1968) – James Moran
PLANET OF THE APES (1968) – Gary McMahon
THE ANDROMEDA STRAIN (1971) – David J Schow
A CLOCKWORK ORANGE (1971) – Ian R MacLeod
SILENT RUNNING (1972) – Alastair Reynolds
SOLARIS (1972) – Trevor Hoyle
SLEEPER (1973) – Michael Bishop
WESTWORLD (1973) – Stephen Volk
LOGANÕS RUN (1976) – Sarah Pinborough
THE MAN WHO FELL TO EARTH (1976) – Tony Richards
STAR WARS (1977) – Nate Kenyon
QUINTET (1979) – Gary A Braunbeck
STALKER (1979) – Adam Roberts
MAD MAX 2: THE ROAD WARRIOR (1981) – Brian Keene
TIME BANDITS (1981) – Joolz Denby
BLADERUNNER (1982) – Guy Adams
2010 (1984) – Paul Cornell
THE ADVENTURES OF BUCKAROO BANZAI ACROSS THE 8TH DIMENSION (1984) – Chris Roberson
REPO MAN (1984) – John Skipp
THE TERMINATOR (1984) – James Barclay
BRAZIL (1985) – Steve Rasnic Tem
THE PURPLE ROSE OF CAIRO (1985) – Robert Shearman
ALIENS (1986) – Peter F Hamilton
THE FLY (1986) – Stephen Gregory
ROBOCOP (1987) – Jeff Strand
DELICATESSEN (1991) – Philip Palmer
TWELVE MONKEYS (1995) – Michael Cobley
INDEPENDENCE DAY (1996) – Joseph Lidster
GATTACA (1997) – Ken MacLeod
PI (1998) – Pat Cadigan
THE WONDERFUL ICE-CREAM SUIT (1998) – Mike Resnick
THE MATRIX (1999) – Juliet E McKenna
DONNIE DARKO (2001) – Sarah Langan
THE LORD OF THE RINGS (2001) – Amanda Hemingway
THE LOST SKELETON OF CADAVRA (2001) – Elizabeth Massie
LILO AND STITCH (2002) – Tony Ballantyne
MINORITY REPORT (2002) – Steve Mosby
CODE 46 (2003) – Garry Kilworth
SERENITY (2005) – Anne Gay
V FOR VENDETTA (2005) – Ian Irvine
CHILDREN OF MEN (2006) – James Miller
THE FOUNTAIN (2006) – Steven Hall
THE MIST (2007) – Steven Erikson
STAR TREK (2009) – Toby Litt
AVATAR (2009) – Ian Whates