DEAD CLOWN BARBECUE: The Digital Edition!

Okay, the hardcover edition of Dead Clown Barbecue is now appearing in mailboxes across the planet, so I’m pleased to announce that the digital edition is now available!

Twenty-nine stories! Including a brand-new one about a spooky ventriloquist dummy! Those things freak you out, don’t they? THERE’S ONE RIGHT BEHIND YOU!!! If that were the truth, you’d be dead by now, so it’s important to read “Dummy” in my collection Dead Clown Barbecue to acquaint yourself with the danger. Or maybe it’s a NICE spooky ventriloquist dummy. You’ll have to read the book to find out. Also, the dummy story has sex in it.

90,000 words’ worth of stuff for a mere $2.99! That’s insanity! It’s madness! Get it HERE, before it sells out*!

Digital edition cover by Lynne Hansen. 

*E-books don’t sell out. You’ll be fine. 

 

Interview With Filmmaker Chris Woods

I first met Chris Woods in 2002 at the Saints & Sinners Film Festival, where his pseudo-documentary BLEED was screening. Since then, his smiling face has popped up at almost every horror-themed event I’ve attended, including Spooky Empire, The Halloween Horror Picture Show, and the Cult Movie Mania Screaming Cinema Series…and almost every time I see the guy, he’s got a new movie! It’s insane! He also edited THE UH-OH SHOW, in which I have a 15-second screen appearance, and BRAINJACKED, from which I was cut. Every time I see a BRAINJACKED DVD I take a shotgun to it, but this interview is not about petty vengeance.

Chris Woods’ new feature film, AMERIKAN HOLOKAUST makes it world premiere this Friday, August 2nd, at the Tampa Pitcher Show.

JS: As is evident from the above poster, AMERIKAN HOLOKAUST looks like it fits right in with your oeuvre of family-friendly entertainment. Why not make a NICE movie?

CW: Nice movies are boring and not fun to make. In my opinion movies that are shocking and that are outrageous are the best to make and are fun to watch. Who knows if I’ll ever make a nice movie. Maybe in my old age, but by then I’ll probably be making even crazier movies.

JS: You’re a writer, producer, editor, and director. Which of those roles is your favorite?

CW: I’ll have to say directing and editing. I love directing actors and making my stories come to life. Editing also is fun and at times very underrated. Editing can make or break a film. If you have a bad editor your film will suck even if you have a big budget and a talented cast and crew. Editing makes everything come together.

JS: Almost every time I go to a horror film festival, there’s a new Chris Woods project! What’s your secret to being so prolific?
 

CW: Filmmaking is like a drug to me. I can never get enough and it is an addiction. I’m always thinking of new movie ideas all the time and never get tired of making films. Also the more films I make the better I get.

JS: You put your love of exploitation films to productive use with your web series THE SLEAZE BOX. If somebody were reading an interview with you, and the interviewer mentioned THE SLEAZE BOX in one of the questions, and the reader of that interview wanted to know what THE SLEAZE BOX was, what would you tell them?

CW: The Sleaze Box is a show with two hardcore fans of horror and exploitation films and we give our insight on rare films from that genre. We talk about top 5 lists from a number of topics ranging from top 5 underrated zombie films to top 5 grindhouse actresses of the 1970s. And if you want to check out our show go to our channel on YouTube, thesleazebox and subscribe. Join The Sleaze Box revolution!

JS: People who want to know your favorite horror films can watch THE SLEAZE BOX. What are some of your favorite NON-horror films?

CW: My favorite non-horror films are Star Wars, Goodfellas, Memento, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Taxi Driver, 12 Angry Men, Scarface, Boogie Nights, just to name a few. I like all types of films with horror being my favorite but I’m also a fan of many other genres. A film just has to be good and have all the right elements for myself to like it.

JS:  I see you at horror-themed events several times a year, and yet not once have I seen you dressed like Vic Van Viper. Why the hell not?

CW: Wow! Vic Van Viper, that’s going way back from my Creeping Death/Bleed days. Never thought of dressing up like him again. It has been so long. I use to dress up as that character when he was called the Red Freak back in the 90s when I had my horror series Creeping Death on closed circuit TV in Tampa. Maybe I’ll bring that character back one of these days.

JS: I will definitely be at the world premiere of AMERIKAN HOLOKAUST at the Tampa Pitcher Show at 10:30 PM on Friday, August 2nd, with you and screenwriter John Miller in attendance.  Others may be on the fence. How would you convince them that they NEED to go!

CW: Come out and see Amerikan Holokaust on August 2nd. This is a film that the world didn’t want you to see. So, to see what all the fuss is all about go see this movie. It’s a roller coaster ride that you will never forget and will never leave your head once you laid eyes on it. Come and see the demented masterpiece that myself and John Miller created. You won’t regret it. And thank you for your support.

For more information on the Cult Movie Mania Screaming Cinema Series, click HERE! And to learn more about Chris Woods, visit his Icon Studios website right HERE!

Necon Recap

I got back from Necon a few days ago, and now that my brain has recovered to 17% of its normal functioning power, I can write a recap blog.

Necon, which takes place every July in Bristol, Rhode Island, really isn’t like any other convention I’ve attended. It resembles them on a superficial level, with panel discussions, a mass booksigning, etc. but the vibe is completely different. As many people have said, it’s more like a family reunion than a convention, except that none of the relatives suck and newcomers are embraced.

Attendance is capped at 200 people, so it’s always small. There’s only one track of programming. Very often, everybody is in the same place. Once the official programming is over, a huge group of people gather in the courtyard, their numbers gradually thinning until the sun rises. I’m a total loser who goes to bed early by Necon standards, and by 2:00 AM the courtyard is still well populated.

Thursday and Saturday night, everybody has saugies (New England hot dogs). People compete for medals in “Olympic events” like miniature golf, bowling, foosball, and darts, though few of the athletic performances are those of human bodies in prime condition. Nobody is in hardcore self-promotion mode; it’s just a bunch of like-minded individuals having a great time for a weekend.

The level of silliness is extreme. Even the Rick Hautala memorial was filled with jokes. This year’s roast victim was Bram Stoker award-winning poet Linda Addison, who came on stage thinking that she was a roastER, until the fake victim said “I’m sorry, I can’t do this,” and stormed off, leaving Linda with a “What the hell just happened?” expression until hosts Christopher Golden and Nick Kaufmann said “Well, we’ve got to roast somebody!” and the dark, cruel truth dawned upon her.

The premise of my bit was that Linda’s editors don’t get enough credit for their guidance. To demonstrate this, I read the first stanza of Linda’s poem “How To Recognize a Demon Has Become Your Friend” as published, and then in the “original” version, which was exactly like the published version except that the last line was “By the way, the Holocaust never happened.” I continued to compare the published version with her original vision, with lines like “I gargle my own vomit and the vomit of others” and “Monkey poo is the best kind of poo, but all have their individual merits.” I also dropped two f-bombs. You will hear many f-bombs at Necon.

I moderated the panel “How Explicit Is Too Explicit?” with Jack Ketchum, Hal Bodner, Sephera Giron, and Robert Devereaux. In a rare twist for a Necon panel, it turned into a very deep discussion about how the real taboos in fiction are about social issues instead of graphic content. Some audience members told me afterward that it was one of the best panels they’ve ever seen at a convention, although I can’t take any credit because I just moderated the discussion and let everybody else say smart things.

Necon 2014. Be there.

Writing Update 7/26/2013

Okay, so this week’s writing update is a couple of days late, but compared to the usual abandonment issues this website suffers, it’s pretty mild.

My sneak preview of this week’s productivity was “I’m not going to be able to write much of anything this week,” and I lived up to that mighty promise. I wrote a 1000-word synopsis of I Have A Bad Feeling About This for the Sourcebooks marketing team and half of the introduction for the anthology Wicked Seasons and that’s it.

However, while I was at Necon, Keith Minnion told me that he was resurrecting his White Noise Press chapbook line and asked if I’d write something for him. He published my chapbook Funny Stories of Scary Sex, so of course I’ve been wanting to work with him again. This is all in the very early stages, but, hey, there’ll be a snazzy new chapbook sometime in the future.

Meanwhile, my story “Stumps” was officially accepted for the upcoming anthology Fear the Reaper. It was written at the editor’s request, so it’s not like I was drenched in perspiration every time I checked my e-mail…but getting a personal invite doesn’t always mean they’re gonna take the story!

Kindle Daily Deal: A BAD DAY FOR VOODOO!

If you’ve got a Kindle, you’re probably aware of the Kindle Daily Deal, where every day four new books go on sale for a ridiculously low price.

Today…A Bad Day For Voodoo is one of those books.

Yes, if you’re reading this on July 18th, A Bad Day For Voodoo is only $1.99! Holy cow! That’s crazy! You’d have to be completely INSANE not to act on this offer! But insane people love this book too! Perhaps even more than the rest of the population! So whether or not you’re insane, there’s really no excuse for not taking advantage of this deal, unless you’ve already bought A Bad Day For Voodoo, in which case the low price probably isn’t all that alluring, but I thank you for being an early adopter.

Click HERE for the details!

If it’s July 19th or later…well, it’s still a cool book. I’d buy one anyway.

 

Update on Writing Stuff (July 17th Edition)

As I said last time, I’m going to start posting general updates on my writing projects every Wednesday.

I’d said that my screenplay adaptation of Pressure would be complete and sent off to Identity Films before this update…and that turned out NOT to be a shameful lie! The script is indeed done and has indeed been sent to the producer. What will happen next…?

The edits for my young adult novel I Have A Bad Feeling About This have been officially approved and the book is off to the production department. I don’t think there’s a firm publication date set, but it should be 1st or 2nd quarter 2014. Don’t hold me to that. I’ll give you a date you can hold me to soon.

And, from what I’ve heard, the hardcover editions of Dead Clown Barbecue have finally shipped! So if you ordered one, start camping out beside your mailbox, because your neighborhood is filled with thieves! The digital edition is completely ready to go with just a click of the “Publish” button, but I’m going to wait until I hear that people have started receiving their limited edition copies. 8/1/2013 at the latest.

I’m going to be writing a short horror screenplay for a project that I’m not allowed to talk about. I know that some of you HATE it when people say “Oooooh, look at me! I’m working on something I’m not allowed to talk about!” but I think my gag order will be in effect for quite a while even after the script is done. (No, I haven’t started it yet.)

No progress on Kumquat or Wolf Hunt II because I was finishing the Pressure screenplay and then clearing out various other small items. However, Wolf Hunt II will take full advantage of the speed of publishing in the digital age, so you won’t be waiting as long as you might think.

I’m spending the weekend at Necon, and then my dad will be in town for a few days after that, so my next update will NOT contain any statements like “Gosh! I can’t believe how much writing I’ve done!”

Necon!!!

My last out-of-state convention for 2013 (unless somebody reading this is all like “Dude! My convention totally wants to fly you out to be an author guest!”) is coming up this weekend. Yes, it’s NECON, one of the most fun weekends of any year!

I would guess that since it starts on Thursday, you’ve probably already made your decision about whether or not you’ll be attending…but if not, c’mon, you should go! It’s in Rhode Island! They’ve got great lobster rolls! And, quite honestly, I’m not even a huge fan of lobster, but I love their lobster rolls!

Check out http://www.CampNecon.com for all the details.

While there, I will be moderating a panel called “That Line We Crossed. How Explicit Is Too Explicit?” with Jack “The Girl Next Door” Ketchum, Robert “Santa Steps Out” Devereaux, and Hal “Bite Club” Bodner. The chances of me successfully doing my job and keeping these maniacs in line is pretty much non-existent, so you should go to Necon just to see the chaos.

 

Update On Writing Stuff!

The “Coming Soon” page on my website covers some of this, but I’ve decided that on a weekly basis I’m going to give an update on all things writing-related. This one will be longer than most, because there’s some catching-up involved, but here we go…

I’m about halfway through a mainstream tragi-comedy novel called Kumquat. (Well, that’s the working title. I don’t know yet if it’ll be the real title.) I don’t have a publisher for this one; I’m writing it at my own pace, and when it’s done, I’m gonna fling it at my agent and see what happens. 

A couple of days ago I turned in the edits for I Have A Bad Feeling About This, my second Young Adult novel for Sourcebooks. No horror in this one, but it’s really goofy. I don’t think the publication date has been officially set yet, but expect it around Spring 2014.

In the past couple of weeks I’ve finished up two short stories: “The Fierce Stabbing And Subsequent Post-Death Vengeance of Scooter Brown” for the anthology Piercing the Darkness and “Stumps” for the anthology Fear the Reaper. Both of these were by invite, but neither story has been officially accepted yet, so if you see the table of contents of either of these books and I’m not in them, it’s because my story SUCKED!

I’m 100 pages into a new horror/comedy novel called The Apocalypse Ain’t So Bad. Waiting for editor/agent responses before I proceed further. This is not a speedy business.

Yep, I’m working on Wolf Hunt II, though I’m only three chapters in so far and haven’t touched it in a while. After I finish Kumquat,  this one will get pushed much higher in the queue. New werewolf. Same George and Lou.

The hardcover edition of Dead Clown Barbecue is still delayed. The hardcover editions themselves exist…but not the dust jackets. Hopefully the problems will be resolved soon, and I can start obnoxiously promoting the book. Paperbacks should ship soon, and then a digital edition will follow.

I’ve written the script for the first issue of an ongoing comic book series called Town of Turmoil. I have done absolutely nothing with it except send it to a couple of friends. After I clear out some other projects, I’m going to do another draft of the script, and then start sending out queries!

And…I’m almost done with a screenplay adaptation of my novel Pressure! More (much more) on that soon. It’ll be complete and off to Identity Films before the next update!

So, that’s the update for this week! If I don’t post these on a regular basis, feel free to get on my case about it.