Famous Monsters of Filmland

Now THIS is pretty darn cool. Famous Monsters of Filmland reviewed Dweller and said:

“This book took me back to the days when monster movies were about the story, not flashy CGI effects and gore. You remember those movies where you cheered for the monster to win. Whether it was Frankenstein’s Monster, the Beast from 20,000 Fathoms, the Ymir of 20 Million Miles To Earth, the Creature From The Black Lagoon or King Kong, I always felt for the monster who was put in their predicament by the actions of man. Dweller plays along the same lines and does so with the same visceral impact I felt with those movies of yesteryear.

Jeff’s writing is better than ever. If you liked Pressure you are going to love Dweller.”

Unleash Your Inner Criminal And Win WOLF HUNT!

My latest novel, Dweller, is now in bookstores. Sure, YOU’VE got a copy, but what about those other people wandering around the store, browsing for something new to read? They could walk right past it, unaware! It could be RIGHT THERE on the shelf, and their eyes could be moving around from book to book, but they might miss it…without your help!

No, I’m not asking you to grab copies of Dweller and shove them into people’s hands. (Though nor am I dissuading you…) However, I am asking you to succumb to the little devil on your shoulder who’s saying “Turn the book face-out! Turn the book face-out!”

Try it. It feels naughty, doesn’t it? You’re not supposed to be messing with the way they shelved the book, but you’re doing it anyway. Oooooohhhhh, you’re a bad one. Feel the adrenaline? Feel your heartbeat quicken? Oh yeah. You know you like it.

So here’s what you have to do to be entered to win a signed manuscript of my upcoming novel Wolf Hunt, months before it’s published…

1. Go to your local bookstore. If Dweller is spine-out, turn it so it’s face-out and everybody can see the way-cool cover. (Don’t get caught!)

2. Take a picture of your criminal act.

3. Send the picture to gleefullymacabre@gmail.com.

Three of you will be chosen at random and win a signed manuscript of my novel Wolf Hunt. (Or a free copy of the hardcover edition when it’s published, if you’d rather have that.)

Q: If I visit multiple bookstores, can I enter more than once?

A: Yes. Up to three entries per person.

Q: What if my picture is extra-creative in some manner?

A: I’ll post it on my website and give you an extra entry in the contest.

Q: What if the book is already face-out?

A: Just take a picture of it. It’s not like I’d know of your deceit.

Q: What if there’s only one copy left and I want to buy it?

A: Turn it face-out, take a picture, then buy it. It’s like you’re cheating! Feels goooood, doesn’t it?

Q: What if I get BUSTED?

A: Don’t rat me out! Remember, nobody likes a squealer. If you take a picture of the bookstore employee throwing your ass out of the store, that’ll count for an entry.

Assorted other prizes will be given out as well. Contest ends May 1st, 2010.

Got it? Cool. Go forth and start messing with bookstore shelving procedures!!!

Dread Media Episode 135!

Last week, I co-hosted an episode of the amazing Dread Media podcast with Desmond Reddick. And now, it’s available for your listening ecstasy!

• HEAR us talk about Dweller, Kutter, and other stuff!
• HEAR us review the non-classic Return of the Living Dead, Part II!
• HEAR me answer YOUR questions! (If you sent them. Otherwise, hear me answer other people’s questions.)
• HEAR unbearably catchy music by Trevor Strong, The Arrogant Worms starring Trevor Strong, Paul & Storm, and Jonathan Coulton!
• Yes, of course it’s free!

Get thee to http://www.dread-media.com/ and listen, listen, listen!

My short story “The Cover” (because, let’s face it, they can’t all be called “Mr. Twitcher’s Miracle Baby-Chopping Machine”) is in Issue 10 of Necrotic Tissue magazine. You probably want some practice in spending money before Dweller comes out on Tuesday, so click this link:

http://www.necrotictissue.com/magazines_O.html

What Does The SlimeGuy Think?

Greg Lamberson, director of Slime City, Slime City Massacre, Undying Love, Naked Fear, assistant director of Brain Damage and Plutonium Baby, production manager of I Was a Teenage Zombie, author of Personal Demons, Johnny Gruesome, The Frenzy Way, Cheap Scares, and Desperate Souls, father of Kaelin, husband to Tamar, enemy to Republicans, quiet and without opinion on HWA issues, and violent toward men in ski-masks who make lewd gestures on public access television shows, blogged about Dweller.

http://glamberson.livejournal.com/771055.html

Monkeys Like DWELLER!

A review of Dweller appeared today on the blog Musings of an All-Purpose Monkey.

“On the surface just a ‘monster story’, Dweller also operates on a much deeper level. Strand has, in deceptively simple fashion, written a beautiful story which explores the complicated nature of relationships, loyalties, and how one decides who the most important person in their life is. What Strand has accomplished with Dweller is nothing short of amazing, and you owe it to yourself to experience it.”

The full review is here: http://apmonkey1.livejournal.com/32890.html

(Note that despite exploring the complicated nature of relationships and loyalties, the book also features people getting ripped apart and stuff.)

The Rising (Without Zombies)

With Pride & Prejudice & Zombies 2 hitting stores tomorrow, I thought it was time for me to jump on the bandwagon and pick my own public domain novel to enhance with zombies. Then I thought, y’know, everybody else is doing this with public domain novels, so to be different I should use a fully copyrighted novel. And everybody else is adding zombies, so I’ll subtract zombies. Therefore, I proudly present Brian Keene‘s zombie classic The Rising (Without Zombies).

The Rising (Without Zombies)

by Brian Keene and Jeff Strand

Nobody scrabbled for an entrance to his grave. His wife, naturally, was not there either, considering that she was deceased and not nearly as ravenous for Jim in death as she’d been in life. No faint, soulless cries drifted down through ten feet of soil and rock. It was actually rather peaceful.

The kerosene lamp cast flickering shadows on the cinder block walls, and the air in the shelter was stale and earthy. His grip on the Ruger tightened, despite the complete lack of danger. Above him, Carrie did nothing, since–as previously mentioned–she was deceased and therefore lay quite still in her adequately sealed casket.

She’d been dead for a week. Even if she were reanimated, which would never happen, no doubt rigor mortis would prevent any noteworthy muscle movement. Maybe she’d twitch a little bit, but nothing major.

Jim sighed, breathing in the dank air. He lifted the metal coffeepot from where it sat on the heater and poured himself a cup. The warmth felt good, and he lingered there for a moment, before regretfully turning the heater off. To conserve fuel, he only ran it to heat up his meals. The brief comfort only made the damp chill stronger.

The lack of noise continued from above.

Jim wasn’t quite sure why he lived down in this shelter, considering that everything in the outside world was pretty much fine. It seemed kind of silly most of the time, to be honest, and several times he’d thought to himself Maybe I should get out of this miserable underground shelter, take a dip in my Jacuzzi, and check out some Internet porn.

And so he did.

Above him, the newly risen moon shined down upon the world, staring at a mirror image of its cold yet still completely alive self.

– The End –

If you want the zombies back, buy The Rising here.

Then pad out your shopping cart with Dweller.

Dark Recesses Press – The Strand Issue!

Whoa! An interview, a short story, AND a new installment of my column “Strand Babbles?” That’s completely insane! Read it online for free right here…

http://www.scribd.com/doc/28682454/Dark-Recesses-Press-Issue-12

The First Confirmed DWELLER Sighting!

The picture below is either…

a) A picture of author Terri Garey‘s hand, holding a copy of Dweller that she received from Amazon on Friday morning, making it the first official Dweller sighting, or–

b) Me with red fingernail polish.

The answer may never be revealed.

What My Kindly Postal Worker Brought Today…