My October Schedule…

Here’s where you loonies can find me during October.

OCTOBER 3: Borders Express  (Seminole Town Center). Sanford, Florida. I’ll be signing PRESSURE from 2:00 to 4:00 PM. Come on out and say “Dammit, Strand, if I wanted to buy PRESSURE I would’ve done it by now! Stop being so desperate!” 296 Towne Center Circle. Sanford, Florida 32771.  


OCTOBER 9-11: Spooky Empire Weekend. Orlando, Florida. I’ll be on the following panels: 

“Evolution of the Vampire” (Friday 6:00 PM) 

“Critters: Creatures with Attitude and Teeth” (Saturday 11:00 AM) 

“Bad Guy Fan Club” (Saturday 9:00 PM)

“Choosing Your Monsters” (Sunday 3:00 PM)

Plus not one, not three, but TWO signings! Saturday at 7:00 PM and Sunday at 2:00 PM.

And, Sunday at 3:30 PM, there’ll be the world premiere of Herschell Gordon Lewis’ new film THE UH-OH SHOW, featuring an astoundingly brilliant performance by me as The Sound Engineer Guy Who Gets Killed. (Or, my embarrassingly crappy performance. YOU be the judge!) I’ll be late to the movie because of that 3:00 PM panel, so save me a seat.


OCTOBER 23-25: Necronomicon. The 28th year of this science fiction, fantasy, and horror convention in Tampa, Florida! I’ll be on the following panels:

“Working With Small Presses” (Friday 4:00 PM)

“You Don’t Have To Be Screwed Up To Be A Writer…But It Helps” (Saturday 10:00 PM)


If You’re In Florida…

I’ll be signing at the Books-a-Million in Casselberry on Saturday the 19th from 1:00 to 3:00 PM. You should totally go. 

Books-a-Million. 5775 South U.S. Highway 17-92. Casselberry, Florida, 32707.

Interview at Horror Blog!

Tired of all of my serious, deep, introspective interviews? Wish I would give a goofy answer once in a while? Here you go:

Deep Carnivale!

I’ve updated my list of appearances for the next couple of months, which includes two more Florida signings for PRESSURE, the Spooky Empire Weekend, and Necronomicon. And, this Saturday, September 12, I’ll be at Deep Carnivale: A Celebration of Words in Tampa. 

It’s a completely free event with lots of writers (fiction, non-fiction, and poetry) and musicians on multiple stages. I’ll be on the main stage at 3:00 PM, doing a reading from DWELLER. The first-ever reading from DWELLER! If DWELLER, which will be at a bookstore near you April 2010, goes on to become such a gargantuan bestseller that Dan Brown is all like “Alas! Oh, how desperately I wish that I had written DWELLER instead of THE DA VINCI CODE! I feel so forlorn and sorrowful!” you can say “Dude! I heard him do the very first reading from it! (Not necessarily to Dan Brown, although if you’re tight with him go right ahead.)

There are also some workshops, including Sally Bosco teaching you how to write Twitter flash fiction. She may also be reading some smut. Or not. She’s reading something. I’ll get back to you on the smut level.

Check it out at

Andrew Mayhem: German Edition

The German-language edition of GRAVEROBBERS WANTED (NO EXPERIENCE NECESSARY) is now available! Is death by spork still amusing in a foreign tongue? Click here!

Andrew Mayhem ist ständig knapp bei Kasse. Da erscheinen 20.000 Dollar für ein paar Stunden Arbeit als wahres Himmelsgeschenk – auch wenn er dafür einen Sarg ausgraben muss! Statt abzukassieren gerät Andrew jedoch ins Fadenkreuz eines wahnsinnigen Killers. Um sich und andere zu retten, muss er auf eigene Faus termitteln.

Weekend of Non-Accomplishment

Having turned in my novel DWELLER to Leisure last week, I decided to spend all of Labor Day weekend goofing off. 

FRIDAY: Did a movie marathon: DISTRICT 9, INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS, THE FINAL DESTINATION 3-D, and ORPHAN. (Yes, I paid for all four of them–I’m too old to deal with the shame of being caught by an usher and kicked out of the theatre.) 

I looooooooooved DISTRICT 9. My favorite movie this year. Granted, I missed most of the movies that have played this year, but I did see STAR TREK, and I liked DISTRICT 9 even more.

I also really liked INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS, although those endless dialogue scenes border on self-parody (though not to the level of something like DEATH PROOF). 

Regarding THE FINAL DESTINATION, I realize that complaining that a third sequel to a slasher flick is “derivative” seems kind of silly, but when your movie is so derivative that I walk out of the fourth movie in a slasher series thinking “Jeez, that was derivative,” you’ve got problems. 

ORPHAN was a solid, creepy flick. Wait a minute…it wasn’t a remake or a sequel, and it was GOOD, and it made money at the box office? How the hell did that happen???

SATURDAY: The plan was to continue the movie marathon, but I stayed home and read most of the day instead. How lazy do you have to be not even work up the energy to go to the movies? And why the hell haven’t I been reading Chuck Palahniuk all this time? Started the third season of DEXTER.

SUNDAY: Finished up DEXTER. Great stuff. The season just sorta wound down instead of building to a big finale, but it was vastly superior to the “We waited 12 episodes for THAT?” finale of Season Two. 

TODAY: My office is a complete disaster. Guess I’ve got some cleaning to do…

Twofer One & Diabolical Interview

Tonight, I’ll be appearing LIVE on Diabolical Radio! Well, okay, my interview was previously recorded, but the show itself is live, and I’m sure they’ll leave in all the parts where I said dumb stuff, so it’ll be pretty close to the experience of listening to me live. It’s on tonight at 11:00 PM. The episode will be archived, if, like me, it’s past your bedtime.

And the Horror Mall is having an astounding two-for-one inventory clearance sale on all in-stock books, only good through Thursday the 3rd! They’ve got a bunch of my books available, including BENJAMIN’S PARASITE, GLEEFULLY MACABRE TALES, HOW TO RESCUE A DEAD PRINCESS, MANDIBLES, PRESSURE, SINGLE WHITE PSYCHOPATH SEEKS SAME, and even THE SEVERED NOSE! Quick! Get ’em cheap! 

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