Orlando Thrice

So in January, February, and March 2011, I’ll be driving to Orlando to see a) Patton Oswalt, b) Penn & Teller, and c) Kevin Smith.

I CHALLENGE any of you to top that!

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Ow, My Arm!

So in the true story that inspired 127 Hours, did anybody go back and get that guy’s arm? I wouldn’t think they could do much with it, and you could probably just shine a flashlight into the crevice to confirm his story. But at the same time, you wouldn’t want other hikers to walk by and be traumatized by the sight of a severed arm.

If somebody DID get the arm, did they just throw it away later, or was it saved because of its cultural significance?

Hawt

So if I’m sitting on my back porch, writing, and then the air conditioner starts to squeak, and then suddenly it sounds like firecrackers are going off inside of it, and then sparks start to shoot out of the top, that’s a good excuse for not getting much writing done that day, right?

Anyway, the A/C is totally fried and, in the words of the repair guy, “condemned.” I would do a lengthy whiny post about the lack of A/C…but not all of my readers are in Florida, or even southern climates, or such locations where they won’t say “I had to scrape ice off my windshield this morning, and you’re complaining about your freakin’ AIR CONDITIONER not working? I’ll never buy another of your books!”

(Yes, I’ve gone on record as saying that I don’t do cold weather, but I meant outside.)

Apologies For The Destruction

For those who attended my signing at Barnes & Noble yesterday, I apologize for the fistfight that broke out between myself, Andy Lalino, and Andrew Allan. We did stay afterward to pick up the six shelves that we knocked over, I’ve replaced the chair that I broke over Lalino’s head, and a portion of the book sale proceeds is going toward cleaning up the water damage. It was unprofessional. So was the profanity and nudity.

Basically, what happened was Andrew Allan said “Hey, Dweller is the best book I’ve ever read!” but I misheard him as saying “Hey, Dweller isn’t the best book I’ve ever read,” and so quite understandably I went into a rage. Mistakes were made, punches were thrown, and fires were set. After the car chase, we eventually worked out our differences, and the three of us remain semi-friends.

If you want a copy of their film Brainjacked but don’t play that whole online-buying game, head on over to the Barnes & Noble in that pretty graphic below and grab yourself a DVD right off the shelf!

Special thanks to Jim Morey, a very cool guy who kept us company for most of the event. Honestly, we probably would not have resorted to all of the violence had Jim been there at the end to calm us down.

So I apologize for all of the destruction. It was wrong. It won’t happen again.

Got A Hard To Buy For Weirdo?

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Charlie Stanlon is a serial killer. A ghastly, vicious sociopath who chains women to a table in his basement and tortures them to death. He has no friends. He has no family. He  despises his co-workers. His only pleasure in life is to cause pain and terror.

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REMAINS by Michael McBride

On May 21st, 2008, seven graduate students in Religious Studies set out from the University of  Colorado in search of God. Armed with only their faith and the scriptures, they traveled to the western slope of the Rocky Mountains. None of them were ever heard from again.

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