September 30

Back in the early ’80s, my dad talked about having caught the end of a movie on Showtime where a guy wearing a giant pig’s head and another guy (who was not wearing a giant pig’s head) fought each other with chainsaws. This was shared in a “Can you believe what kind of crap gets made?” manner. I wasn’t a fan of horror movies at the time and had no interest in seeing the chainsaw duel.

Several years later, as a horror movie fanatic, I wanted to know what that mystery flick was. But pre-internet it was difficult to research stuff like this. You could just type “pig head chainsaw fight” into Google and get your answer. I ended up seeing the image on the cover of a back issue of Fangoria and had my answer: Motel Hell.

I rented it, watched a little bit of it, had to return it before I was done, and then somehow left Motel Hell as a massive gap in my horror movie viewing credentials for the next thirty years. Every once in a while I’d say “How is it possible that I’ve never seen Motel Hell?” and then I’d resume living a life where I’d never seen Motel Hell.

Until today.

Yes, the Plaza Theater in Atlanta is playing Motel Hell this week, so I saw it on the big screen! And I loved it. It is one WEIRD movie. It’s hard to imagine it getting a wide theatrical release, but not only was it in theaters across the country, it was the #1 movie at the box office the weekend it opened! I was expecting the satire to be more in the vein of something like Mother’s Day, so the detours into pure silliness were a surprise.

And the Plaza Theater is playing Killer Klowns From Outer Space, which I’ve seen millions of time but never in the theater. So I did a double feature. The non-clown comedy relief is truly painful (I mean, really, really, really bad) but everything clown-related is awesome.

Now back to work on Bang Up…

September 29

It’s too bad that Bang Up won’t be done today, because tomorrow my local theater is playing Killer Klowns From Outer Space and Motel Hell and that would make an awesome reward!

Oh, I’m still going to see Killer Klowns From Outer Space and Motel Hell. It just won’t be a reward.

I did offer this teaser on social media: Hurtling toward the finish line on my new novel. Some of you will say, “Um, no thank you. I’ll wait for the next one.” Others will be more excited than ever before.

 

 

September 28

Still working on Bang Up. Will this book ever be finished???

(Yes, of course it will. This is how I make a living. I can’t just go around not finishing books. That would be ridiculous.)

The weather is still great for sitting outside and writing. I mean, it rains off and on all day, but the gazebo isn’t leaking yet. A tree above me keeps dropping these clown nose-sized spiky balls that land on the polyester with a WHAP!!! but have not yet torn through the fabric and caused my demise.

Today my contributor copy of A Plague of Shadows arrived. This anthology contains a reprint of my story “The Fierce Stabbing and Subsequent Post-Death Vengeance of Scooter Brown.” Get your copy HERE.

C-C-C-Cold C-C-C-Coming

I’m working outside today, trying to enjoy the warm weather before the several months of miserable freezing weather arrive. Yes, I live in Georgia. Yes, I know many of you are unsympathetic to the plight of surviving a Georgia “winter.” Well, I’m a thin-blooded guy who lived in Florida for 21 years, so this cold simply doesn’t work for me. I figure I’ve got another month before the weather starts to suck, and I’m going to be out of town for much of it, so I’m enjoying it while I can!

Last night I was on the Deadman’s Tome podcast. The live feed cut off at one point and I think we lost about 10 minutes of AMAZING conversation, but you can hear the rest of it at https://deadmanstome.net/deadmans-tome-podcast/

 

Ranking Watching Day

Yes, today is Amazon Ranking Watching Day! Sick House is temporarily 99 cents and I’ve got some promos running for it, so I will be closely watching the sales ranking all day. I won’t even want to go to bed.

I’d love to see it hit the Top 100 Kindle titles. Right now it’s at #335. Thanks to narrow categories, though, it’s currently a #1 bestseller…

Of course, only a total wiener promotes himself as a #1 bestseller based on Amazon categories. How will Sick House ultimately fare? I doubt you’ll keep checking this page for updates, but if you do, they’ll be here.

UPDATE: It’s now at #244. The top 100 grows ever-closer…

UPDATE: #247? Backtracking? WTF?

UPDATE: #183. Whew. Only 83 more books to conquer.

UPDATE: #168. Where will it peak???

UPDATE: #153. Based on past experience, I think the top 100 is out of reach even though my ranking keeps improving.

UPDATE: And up to #156. I’ll probably be in bed for the next update, so I’m gonna say that 153 is as good as it gets!

Successful Vacation

Well, my vacation at my mom’s cabin in Wisconsin ended on Thursday. I do this almost every year, and the degree of “vacation” varies each time. I’ve gone there with a looming deadline for Wolf Hunt 2 where I basically just worked the whole time, I’ve gone there in the midst of writing Draculas (where I had to keep up with my speed-writer co-authors), and I’ve gone there immediately after getting hit with the edits for Stranger Things Have Happened (“Hey, I’m going on vacation–can this wait until I get back?” “Ummmm…I’d really rather it not..”).

This time, I wrote maybe two pages of a new book after I came up with a cool idea, and that was it. The rest of the time was spent with my Kindle.

Anyway, now I’m back. Going to finish my new novel Bang Up by the end of September!

Meanwhile, Sick House is only 99 cents for the next few days!!!

CURRENTLY READING: Cling by Jeff Menapace and Kim Bravo.

Vacation Reading Thus Far

I’m currently on vacation in a cabin in Wisconsin. I’ve eaten quite a bit of cheese, but my primary goal was to get a lot of reading done. Thus far I’ve read…

The Big Book of Hap and Leonard by Joe Lansdale

The Complex by Brian Keene

Mongrels by Stephen Graham Jones

Fletch by Gregory McDonald

Johnny Junk by Brian Knight

Labor Day by Joyce Maynard

Triple Axe by Scott Cole

And I’m about a third of the way into Jimmy by William Malmborg.

All of them get my seal of approval. I did start a couple of others, but this vacation I have a zero tolerance policy for mediocre books and they were deleted from my Kindle.

 

Hellnotes Reviews SHARP STICK

Hellnotes has done a story by story review of A Sharp Stick In The Eye. Clearly, when one writes a tale like “Clyde the Necrophile,” they know they are destined to be called “an exquisite storyteller,” so I cannot say that I was surprised. I mean, what’s Hellnotes gonna do? Read “Clyde the Necrophile” and NOT say that I’m an exquisite storyteller?

Check out the review HERE.

Dusting Off NEEDFUL THINGS

Overlook Connection and Stephen King Catalog have been doing a series of collector’s edition dustjackets for Stephen King novels by legendary artist Glenn Chadbourne. (Yep–you replace the dustjacket on your hardcover copy with the new one.)

Instead of the standard blurb, the inner flaps have an essay by a guest author. You’re probably reading this now thinking, “Well, they certainly wouldn’t have asked somebody like Jeff Strand to write one of these essays, so why is he posting about this on his blog?” Well, you’re wrong! They did ask me! And I’m proud to announce……….Needful Things!

It’s a limited edition of 500. Order yours right HERE!

And my novel How You Ruined My Life was discussed in the podcast YA Dad & Daughter, in which a father and his 13-year-old daughter discuss books they’ve read together. It’s a detailed look at the book in which they heap praise upon a couple of elements that some reviewers didn’t like (the fourth-wall-breaking and jokes stretched to absurd lengths). Listen HERE.

 

Witch Haunt!

I was recently interviewed at The Witch Haunt! This is your opportunity to learn all of my most intimate and most horrifying secrets, like which Addams Family character is my favorite. Click HERE for the interview.

Sci-Fi And Scary thinks that you should read my novel Mandibles. I’ve spent the past forty-five minutes trying to compose a rebuttal to their review, but then I remembered that I want you to read Mandibles, too. Bask in their fine taste HERE.

P.S.: My new novel is called Bang Up. Look for it in October.