A Few Upcoming Appearances…

If you’re hoping to avoid me, here are some places not to be over the next couple of months…

June 5-7, 2015. FUMPFEST. Wheeling, Illinois. A three-day comedy music festival! No, I did not become a comedy musician, but, dammit, I’m going to be there anyway. (I’ll be sitting behind a table, selling books throughout the weekend, and there’ll be a screening of “Chomp.”) The Arrogant Worms are the featured act, so you’d have to be craaaaaaaaaazy to miss this.

June 12-14, 2015. INNOVATIVE FILM FESTIVAL. Tampa, Florida. Three full days of movies! “Gave Up The Ghost” will screen at 3:20 PM on Saturday (followed by me doing a Q&A) and “Chomp” will screen at 1:15 PM on Sunday. Follow the link for the complete schedule.

June 27, 2015. LIBCON. Orlando, Florida. A whole bunch of authors will be taking over the Orlando Public Library from 10:00 AM to 4:00 PM. C’mon up to my table and say “Hi.” I promise not to do a hard-sell on any of my books. I’ll also be on a panel about “Modern Monsters.”

July 16-19, 2015. NECON. Portsmouth, Rhode Island. The most fun weekend of the year! I’ll be co-hosting the infamous Necon Roast with Nicholas Kaufmann. Who will be this year’s victim? Could it be YOU?

Anything But Zombies Review

From a Detroit Metro Times review of the new anthology Anything But Zombies…

“This book is clearly for fans of B-horror. It won’t be easy for readers to fill in many of the stories’ narrative gaps without a solid foundation in shlocky scarefests. Too often, these tales lose their coherence, victims of the authors’ overflowing enthusiasm. Jeff Strand’s “The Sentient Cherry Cola That Tried to Destroy the World” demonstrates both extremes: For the initiated, Strand’s playful perversion of tropes will be an adroit send-up of classic monster movies. For the other nine out of 10 readers, the strongly referential humor and broad thematic strokes will fail to register, potentially leaving them with the impression that the story simply isn’t fleshed out enough.”

Fortunately YOU are the one out of ten! Congratulations! Check out Anything But Zombies right HERE!

WOLF HUNT Video Review

This handsome gentleman posted a video review of WOLF HUNT. Check it out!

Read Or Write Anywhere!

Whoa! It’s contest time! The YA Chicks are running the Read Anywhere Write Anywhere contest, where YOU can win free books and other stuff! From May 22nd at 9:00 AM EST through May 31st at 11:00 PM EST.

Just visit fine author sites such as this one and find pictures of authors a) reading anywhere, or b) writing anywhere. YOUR job is to guess where these pictures were taken. If you’re right, you’ll be entered to win! Because we’re not monsters, each author will provide five clues.

CLUES:

1. This is a photograph of me with a large elephant. (Okay, some clues are less helpful than others….)

2. This is not a real elephant, as you can tell by the fact that I’m standing there with a serene expression, instead of running around screaming as I try to avoid being stomped by its mighty feet.

3. You can actually go on a tour inside of this elephant. Cool, huh? How often do you get to walk around inside of a giant elephant?

4. The book Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen, though one of my favorite books of all time, is unrelated to this picture. Sorry.

5. The elephant’s name rhymes with “You-See.” It’s a tourist attraction in a city where, if you play Monopoly, you’ll recognize many of the street names.

To enter your answer, head on over to http://www.yachicks.blogspot.com/!

To see the official prize listings and links to all of the other authors who are participating, click here! http://www.yachicks.blogspot.com/p/read-or-write-anywhere.html

STALKING YOU NOW Cheap!

The Kindle edition of my novella STALKING YOU NOW is currently only 99 cents! But for how much longer??? I don’t know. I was out of town and didn’t get to update my website when I first heard about this astonishing deal. But it won’t last much longer, so CLICK CLICK CLICK before it’s too late!

http://www.ehorrorbargains.com/2015/05/16/stalking-you-now-by-jeff-strand-only-99-cents-for-a-limited-time/

Stokers Tonight!

Watch the Bram Stoker Awards live tonight at 9:00 PM EST. http://m.ustream.tv/channel/stoker-awards-banquet

Live Webcast of the Bram Stoker Awards!

If you’re not going to be in Atlanta this weekend for the World Horror Convention (frowny face) you can still watch the Bram Stoker Awards banquet through the very same internet that you’re using to view this blog!

The banquet begins at 9:00 PM EST on Saturday, May 9th. It’ll probably be about an hour and a half.

Just visit: http://www.ustream.tv/channel/johnpalisano

NOTE: For up-to-the-minute-updates (including a backup webcast URL that hasn’t yet been announced) check  https://www.facebook.com/groups/375336315942423/565237146952338/.

BAD BRATWURST Auf Deutsch!

The English-language edition of BAD BRATWURST is only available in the White Noise Press chapbook, but there’s a German translation in the new edition of VISIONARIUM! Cannibalism comedy in two languages!

 http://www.amazon.de/dp/1511834099

BAD BRATWURST – Available Now!

Yep, if you head on over to White Noise Press you can get your very own copy of my new chapbook, Bad Bratwurst.

Klaus has made the finest bratwurst in Germany for thirty years, but his shop has fallen upon hard times. He needs to try something new. Something innovative. Offer a product his customers can’t get anyplace else.

The answer may or may not involve human flesh. We’re not going to spoil it right here in the description. Sure, this is a tale of MIND-BENDING HORROR, so you’d be justified in thinking that bratwurst made from people may be somehow incorporated into the narrative, but maybe that’s not it. It could be something completely different.

Look, if you enjoy stories about cannibalism, we’re not going to steer you away. There may indeed be somebody eating meat that used to be a living, breathing human being. We won’t completely discount that possibility. We’re simply saying that it’s not the ONLY possibility.

Okay, fine, this story is about eating bratwurst made from human flesh. Are you happy?!?

From Jeff Strand, the author of PRESSURE, DWELLER, and DEAD CLOWN BARBECUE, comes the ultimate in cannibalism themed chapbooks. Don’t lick the pages. You don’t know what they used to be.