Welcome to 2021!

We made it!

From a writing standpoint, 2020 was an extremely productive year. From a reading perspective, it was disastrous. I mean, flat-out embarrassing. For 2021, I want to change that in a big way.

And though “watch more horror movies” seems like a weird-ass New Year’s resolution, I’ve gradually moved from “see everything that comes out” to “watch most of what comes out” to “have a decent working knowledge of what’s out there” to “often being completely out of the loop.” I want to fix that, too.

Watch for exciting once-a-week updates to see how well I’m achieving these goals!

New Book: The Writing Life

It happened. Yesterday I turned 50. But more importantly, my new book, The Writing Life: Reflections, Recollections, And a Lot of Cursing came out! It’s available in Kindle and paperback editions!

I also ate a lot of sushi.

My First Non-Fiction Book

December 14th is my birthday. One of the big, monumental ones. Number fifty. Yep, on Monday I’ll have half a century behind me!

I’ll be celebrating with the publication of my first non-fiction book, The Writing Life: Reflections, Recollections, And a Lot of Cursing.

Here’s the description:

Jeff Strand, whose work Publishers Weekly has called “wickedly funny” and Kirkus has called “ridiculously stupid,” has had one of the least meteoric rises to success in the publishing industry. But he eventually got there, even if he should probably put “success” in quotes.

He’s been at it a long time, and has learned a lot of lessons along the way. And he shares them with brutal honesty in this very book, along with plenty of hilarious (and sometimes painful) anecdotes about his career. 

This is not a book that will tell you how to format a manuscript or write a compelling query letter. It’s a book about how to cope with rejection and bad reviews. Book signings where nobody shows up. Helplessly watching your peers go on to greater success than you. He’s been through all of that and so much more, and in these pages you’ll have a bunch of laughs as you commiserate and figure out how to get through it all.

There won’t be pre-orders for the paperback edition (though it should be available on the 14th) but you can pre-order the Kindle edition right HERE.

Candy Coated Madness Available Now!

My latest short story collection, Candy Coated Madness, is now available in Kindle and paperback editions! Twenty-six insane tales!

Free Distraction – Updated

With the changes to WordPress (which I currently despise but will presumably get used to and eventually decide I can’t live without), my link to Bang Up brought up this nice handy image of the cover with links to buy it, share it, or read a free sample, but the “New Post” notification e-mail didn’t include that. I basically just told you that Bang Up is free and then abandoned you without a link.

So for those of you who don’t read these blog posts directly from my website, I’m sending another one that lets you know that because today is going to be a stressful day, my goofy smut comedy Bang Up is free and you can get it HERE.

Free Distraction

Today is going to be a stressful day. If you need something to read in a long voting line or to take your mind off things for a while, my goofy smut comedy Bang Up is free.

See MINDY HAS TO DIE and HOSTILE this weekend!

This weekend you can see Mindy Has To Die for free and Hostile not for free!

Mindy Has To Die, the feature film version of my book Stalking You Now, is playing this weekend at the 4th annual Anatomy Crime & Horror International Film Festival in Greece. But you don’t have to be in Greece, because it’s virtual! You just have to reserve a ticket on the Facebook event page HERE. This will give you access to an online screener of the movie this weekend only.l

Meanwhile, today (October 29th) only, if you contribute to the Indiegogo campaign for director Brett Kelly’s Galaxy Warriors at any level, you’ll get a link to see Hostile, the short horror/comedy film I wrote. Visit the campaign page HERE.

Coming Soon…

Hey, it’s Lynne Hansen’s cover for my upcoming short story collection, Candy Coated Madness.

It’ll be out soon. I don’t have a specific definition for “soon” yet, but…soon.

New Collection Preliminary TOC

As I posted yesterday, I’m putting together my fourth collection of short stories. (I don’t count Dead Clown Barbecue Expansion Pack.)

The story selection process is generally pretty easy. With my first collection, Gleefully Macabre Tales, I had to decide if there were some stories that I should just let go, and stories like “A Tender Campfire Tale” and “Paybacks Are Hell” ended up not making the cut.

With the fourth (currently untitled) collection, it mostly just came down to “What stories have I written since Everything Has Teeth that my contracts allow me to reprint now?” With some exceptions…

  1. No newsletter stories are included. Every issue of my newsletter has a brand-new flash fiction story, and I’ve got 31 of ’em so far. I feel like those will be better suited to an “all flash fiction” collection at some point.
  2. Original stories for charity anthologies are not included. Stories like “Hologram Skull Cover” and “Death to Trees” (and upcoming tales like “The Deadliest Review” and “Scares That Scare”) were specifically written for the charity projects and I don’t include them in my collections.
  3. “Coping Mechanism” from Into Painfreak. I wanted to include this story, but upon re-reading it I decided that it doesn’t stand on its own outside of the context of the shared world anthology.

So what IS included? I’m going to add at least a couple of brand-new unpublished stories to this, but right now it’s…

Good Deeds

Captain Pistachio’s Charming Rampage

The Last Thing You Want To Be

Lab Experiment Turf War

No Tomato

Clyde the Necrophile

Don’t Make Fun of the Haunted House

Ivan’s Night Out

Pointy Canes

Giant Mutant Cockroaches in the Old West Vs. Zombies

Outpouring

Faerie

Green Suits

The Fraud

Hostile

The Great Stone Face Vs. The Gargoyles

Parody

Awakening

Dismemberment Fraud

The Things Whittier Couldn’t Do

Beware! The! Beverage!

Rotten Eggs

Gave Up The Ghost

December Birthday

My Werewolf Neighbor

New Short Story Collection Soon!

I have this spreadsheet called “Collection Four” where I log all of my post-Everything Has Teeth short stories. (There’s a separate section for the flash fiction that appears in my newsletter; those will eventually be compiled into their own book.)

I knew I had more than enough material for a fourth book, but when you sell a story there’s almost always an exclusive contractual period where it can only appear in that publication. Brewtality was just published, so I obviously can’t go around trying to reprint “Pink Passion.” My story “Devil Powered Death Train of Doom” hasn’t even been published for the first time yet.

But, upon pulling up some contracts, I was surprised to discover that I’ve got the rights back to enough stories to fill a full-length book!

I still need a title, an introduction, story notes, and as with Gleefully Macabre Tales, Dead Clown Barbecue, and Everything Has Teeth, I’ll write at least a couple of brand-new stories, too. But sometime before Halloween, look for Currently Untitled Short Story Collection by Jeff Strand.

I’ll share the tentative table of contents tomorrow.

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