Free Distraction – Updated

With the changes to WordPress (which I currently despise but will presumably get used to and eventually decide I can’t live without), my link to Bang Up brought up this nice handy image of the cover with links to buy it, share it, or read a free sample, but the “New Post” notification e-mail didn’t include that. I basically just told you that Bang Up is free and then abandoned you without a link.

So for those of you who don’t read these blog posts directly from my website, I’m sending another one that lets you know that because today is going to be a stressful day, my goofy smut comedy Bang Up is free and you can get it HERE.

Free Distraction

Today is going to be a stressful day. If you need something to read in a long voting line or to take your mind off things for a while, my goofy smut comedy Bang Up is free.

See MINDY HAS TO DIE and HOSTILE this weekend!

This weekend you can see Mindy Has To Die for free and Hostile not for free!

Mindy Has To Die, the feature film version of my book Stalking You Now, is playing this weekend at the 4th annual Anatomy Crime & Horror International Film Festival in Greece. But you don’t have to be in Greece, because it’s virtual! You just have to reserve a ticket on the Facebook event page HERE. This will give you access to an online screener of the movie this weekend only.l

Meanwhile, today (October 29th) only, if you contribute to the Indiegogo campaign for director Brett Kelly’s Galaxy Warriors at any level, you’ll get a link to see Hostile, the short horror/comedy film I wrote. Visit the campaign page HERE.

Coming Soon…

Hey, it’s Lynne Hansen’s cover for my upcoming short story collection, Candy Coated Madness.

It’ll be out soon. I don’t have a specific definition for “soon” yet, but…soon.

New Collection Preliminary TOC

As I posted yesterday, I’m putting together my fourth collection of short stories. (I don’t count Dead Clown Barbecue Expansion Pack.)

The story selection process is generally pretty easy. With my first collection, Gleefully Macabre Tales, I had to decide if there were some stories that I should just let go, and stories like “A Tender Campfire Tale” and “Paybacks Are Hell” ended up not making the cut.

With the fourth (currently untitled) collection, it mostly just came down to “What stories have I written since Everything Has Teeth that my contracts allow me to reprint now?” With some exceptions…

  1. No newsletter stories are included. Every issue of my newsletter has a brand-new flash fiction story, and I’ve got 31 of ’em so far. I feel like those will be better suited to an “all flash fiction” collection at some point.
  2. Original stories for charity anthologies are not included. Stories like “Hologram Skull Cover” and “Death to Trees” (and upcoming tales like “The Deadliest Review” and “Scares That Scare”) were specifically written for the charity projects and I don’t include them in my collections.
  3. “Coping Mechanism” from Into Painfreak. I wanted to include this story, but upon re-reading it I decided that it doesn’t stand on its own outside of the context of the shared world anthology.

So what IS included? I’m going to add at least a couple of brand-new unpublished stories to this, but right now it’s…

Good Deeds

Captain Pistachio’s Charming Rampage

The Last Thing You Want To Be

Lab Experiment Turf War

No Tomato

Clyde the Necrophile

Don’t Make Fun of the Haunted House

Ivan’s Night Out

Pointy Canes

Giant Mutant Cockroaches in the Old West Vs. Zombies



Green Suits

The Fraud


The Great Stone Face Vs. The Gargoyles



Dismemberment Fraud

The Things Whittier Couldn’t Do

Beware! The! Beverage!

Rotten Eggs

Gave Up The Ghost

December Birthday

My Werewolf Neighbor

New Short Story Collection Soon!

I have this spreadsheet called “Collection Four” where I log all of my post-Everything Has Teeth short stories. (There’s a separate section for the flash fiction that appears in my newsletter; those will eventually be compiled into their own book.)

I knew I had more than enough material for a fourth book, but when you sell a story there’s almost always an exclusive contractual period where it can only appear in that publication. Brewtality was just published, so I obviously can’t go around trying to reprint “Pink Passion.” My story “Devil Powered Death Train of Doom” hasn’t even been published for the first time yet.

But, upon pulling up some contracts, I was surprised to discover that I’ve got the rights back to enough stories to fill a full-length book!

I still need a title, an introduction, story notes, and as with Gleefully Macabre Tales, Dead Clown Barbecue, and Everything Has Teeth, I’ll write at least a couple of brand-new stories, too. But sometime before Halloween, look for Currently Untitled Short Story Collection by Jeff Strand.

I’ll share the tentative table of contents tomorrow.

SIGNED Books For A Limited Time!

People ask all the time if they can buy autographed books from me directly. My answer is usually “No!” because I SUCK at mailing stuff out and I don’t want people to yell at me. But now, for the month of October only, my answer is: Okay, fine! 

Yes, you’ll be able to order signed paperback copies of any book that is currently available! But first, a great big disclaimer:


All of my events from March 2020 onward were cancelled. Therefore, especially with my recent releases, there’s been no reason for me to have extra books on hand. What am I going to do with a bunch of Autumn Bleeds Into Winter copies? I’ve already read it. (It’s quite good.) Instead of trying to estimate the demand for this offer, I’ve decided to just go with the all-caps disclaimer above, followed by another one:


All books are $15 each, which includes Media Mail shipping. (See Q&A for details about non-USA orders.)

Here’s how it works. Send an e-mail to JeffStrandAuthor @ (removing spaces, obviously) with the following information.

  1. Which book(s) you want.
  2. The first name of the person I’m signing them to. (If you don’t want it personalized, just say “Flat-signed.”) If different books are being signed to different people, just make it clear who gets what.
  3. Your mailing address.

Then I’ll send you a PayPal invoice for $15 x the number of books you ordered.

After that, you will wait patiently until that magical day in November (POSSIBLY stretching into December, depending on demand and how long it takes my boxes of books to arrive) when I send you a tracking number.

Q: Can I order more than one copy of the same book?

A: Yes. If you want 20 flat-signed copies of My Pretties, go for it.

Q: Is this an ongoing offer?

A: Nope. On Halloween I’m going right back to being a whiner about not wanting to handle my own book orders.

Q: Can I request something specific for you to write in the book?

A: Sure, but I have veto power!

Q: What about non-USA people?

A: Yes, but the price will be higher (possibly significantly) and they won’t be mailed out until the very end of the process. What will happen is you’ll get an invoice for the books (knocked down to $13 USD each) and then a separate invoice for the exact cost of shipping sometime in the distant future. 

Q: If I mail you my own copies of your books, will you sign them?

A: Yes. Obviously there’s no charge for that, but you’ll have to include a self-addressed stamped envelope for their return. E-mail me at the address above for details.

Q: What if I have other questions?

A: E-mail me at the address above. 

The available books are…

A Bad Day For Voodoo


Autumn Bleeds Into Winter

Benjamin’s Parasite


Bring Her Back

Casket For Sale (Only Used Once)

Cemetery Closing (Everything Must Go)

Clowns Vs. Spiders

Cyclops Road


Everything Has Teeth


Five Novellas

Graverobbers Wanted (No Experience Necessary)

How You Ruined My Life

I Have a Bad Feeling About This


Lost Homicidal Maniac (Answers to “Shirley”)

My Pretties

Sick House

Single White Psychopath Seeks Same

Stranger Things Have Happened

The Greatest Zombie Movie Ever

The Haunted Forest Tour (signed only by me)

The Odds

Wolf Hunt

Wolf Hunt 2

Wolf Hunt 3

ALSO AVAILABLE: The Leisure Books mass market editions of Pressure and Dweller. They are in reasonably good condition, but there may be some minor dings, scratches, corner crinkles, or discoloration of the paper. I can’t order more, so this is “While supplies last.” $5 each. Please specify “Leisure Edition” so I know you aren’t ordering the trade paperback of Dweller.

September 28

A new issue of my newsletter goes out tomorrow. This time the story is “The Cat Who Was Super Smart For A Cat But Still Pretty Dumb By Human Standards.” The Pulitzer Prize has eluded me thus far, but with stories like this being released into the world, I don’t see how that can continue.

Subscribe HERE.

September 22

Early reaction to Autumn Bleeds Into Winter has been my best ever. One beta reader said it finally knocked Pressure from the top spot, and another reader said it finally knocked Dweller from the top spot, and the reader reviews on Amazon and Goodreads have been similarly enthusiastic. So I’m hoping that, sales-wise, this one will be a Blister or a My Pretties instead of a Bang Up! Both the Kindle and paperback editions are now available. Get it HERE.

With my new book out, I’ve been able to sit back, relax, and spend some time on the couch watching…no, wait, I’m confusing my hot fantasies with cold, cruel reality. I dove straight into my next novel, Deathless, and I also have to do the second draft of my screenplay adaptation of my novel The Greatest Zombie Movie Ever. The notes I have to address are not insignificant.

The YA horror magazine Night Frights just published its very first issue, which contains my ridiculous story “The Mummy’s Bite.” Get it HERE.


Just a very quick update to let you know that the paperback edition of Autumn Bleeds Into Winter is now available! Click HERE!

%d bloggers like this: